Who Are You?
by mabelreid
Summary: Sequel to Stranded. An encounter with a dangerous stranger changes Reid and Emily's lives forever. Slightly AU but also follows Cannon up to early season six Reid and Emily no Seaver, but there will be JJ
1. Random Act of Violence

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n this is a sequel to "Stranded." It's a bit AU as there's no mention of Seaver or Ian Doyle. I'm not dealing with Reid's headaches but JJ is still gone although she'll be part of this story. This is dedicated to Lolyncut who asked for some Reid whump. I hope you enjoy it. _**

**_Random Act of Violence_**

Emily rubbed one of the fluffy new towels she'd purchased over the weekend through her wet hair. The shower had felt wonderful after a day of trying not to miss Reid. She pulled on her robe and tied it. She looked in the mirror at her face, happy with what she saw for the first time in days. She still had circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep, but the reason for that was going to be home that night. So she smiled at her reflection.

She put her hands on her sixth month baby bump trying to feel the baby, but he or she wasn't moving at the moment. At least the morning sickness had finally ended, after sticking around for much longer than Emily thought was normal or necessary.

Her phone beeped just as she was taking off her robe to get dressed. She picked it up and grinned happily at the name on the caller ID.

"Hey Spencer."

"_I'm on my way home." _

"How's your mom?" She took the phone over to sit on the peach velvet upholstered bench in front of their bed.

"_She's doing much better. Her doctor released her back to Bennington this morning."_

"I'm so glad baby."

"_It was close Emily. She almost died." _

She closed her eyes at the choking noise in his throat. "I'm _so_ sorry. I wish I could've gone with you."

"_You were with me, every step of the way." _

"I've missed you so much." She breathed.

"_I missed you too." _

"When does your plane land?"

"_Actually, I'm already on the ground. If the traffic isn't too bad, I should be home in a couple of hours." _

"I have a surprise waiting for you." She teased, so glad the tears were gone from his voice.

"_Oh really?" _

She could almost hear his eyebrows climbing into his hair.

"Yep…"

"_What kind of surprise?"_

She chuckled. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise."

"_I don't like surprises." _

She grinned at the pout in his voice. "Don't pout Spencer."

"_Come on Emily." _

"Nope… Now go get your bags and get home to me."

"_I love you." _He said softly.

"I love you too and so does the baby."

"_I'll see you soon." _He said and she could hear the smile in his voice.

CMCMCMCM

Thunder boomed in the sky as Reid left the 7 Eleven. He had a chocolate candy bar and a soda. He'd made it nearly all the way home before realizing that his ancient Volvo needed gas. He'd given into the temptation for a snack despite the fact that it was already after eight pm and he was going to be later than he planned getting home.

He started up his engine, so glad he'd made it through the traffic that plagued the freeway all the way from BWI. He was getting very impatient to see Emily and her baby bump. He thought it made her so sexy. He sighed and pulled out onto the street again listening to a classic music station on the radio that was playing Mozart.

Lightning split the sky in two, flashing so brightly it left after images on his eyes. He blinked and the rain came as though someone had flipped a switch. It hit the windshield hard, making a noise like coins slapping concrete. He turned on the wipers, letting them swipe the rain intermittently at first. It soon became apparent that the wipers couldn't cope at that speed. He turned them up all the way, so that they dashed back and forth, pushing the water away in rivulets along the edges of the window.

He squinted his eyes and slowed his speed. He turned on the headlights and frowned. He was only four miles from home, but the rain was falling so hard it seemed like a hundred. He slowed further, and a car flew out around him splashing dirty water up over the hood of his card and his windshield.

As the water slid off in wavering sheets, his engine sputtered. He cursed, as it died, the headlights and dashboard lights going dead. He had just enough time and coasting power to pull off the road. The wheels bumped over a pothole as the car came to a stop.

He cursed softly under his breath. He reached for his cell phone, and then stopped before pushing the button for Emily's number. It wasn't necessary to alarm her or drag her out in the rain. He'd simply call for Triple A. They'd fix the problem and he'd go home. He'd tell her about it when they were both in a warm dry place.

He looked out into the gloom gathering outside the car. The false twilight from the storm deepened, turning the sky a deep, cobalt blue with black clouds. No… He had an umbrella in the car. Morgan had showed him some tricks on some of the cars they used at Quantico to train agents. He'd read nearly every car repair book out there, just in case something like this happened. He could pop the hood and see if he could fix the problem. It would take too long to wait for Triple A. If he could fix it quickly, Emily wouldn't need to know or be worried for him. It was better for the baby, if Emily didn't have extra stress.

He pulled the hood release, listening to it click open. He opened the glove box and pulled out a flashlight he always kept there for emergencies. He grabbed the umbrella, and opened the car door. The pounding of the rain grew louder as he slipped out of his seat. Rain splattered on his head before he could open the umbrella. It was wet and warm and it smelled good. He loved the smell of ozone in the air. He couldn't stop to enjoy it though. He had to hurry.

He took one-step forward and right into a puddle of water that soaked up over his ankle. He cursed again. _Idiot, turn on the flashlight before you go blundering through the rain. _

He turned it on and avoided the next puddles until he came around the front of the car. Rain fell endlessly on his umbrella with a depressing smacking sound. He just wanted to get home, see his beautiful Emily, and feel the baby kick. He lifted the hood, ignoring the squeak of the hinges as it went up. He shined in the flashlight, but he couldn't see what was wrong. He thought everything looked like it should, but it was hard to tell. He moved to the driver's side and shined the light around the battery. He'd had trouble with corroded battery cables in the past, so maybe that was the problem.

Drops of rain crept down his back because he'd let the umbrella shift so that it wasn't protecting his head anymore. He straightened up to get back in the car. He couldn't tell what the problem was, and he didn't have the tools to figure out or fix the problem.

"Just call Triple A. Emily will freak out if you don't get home soon." He muttered.

Another car flew by him, splashing water up onto the back of his legs. "Great!" He shouted, "Just wonderful."

"You need some help."

His head whipped up to the left to see a very tall man in a dark coat and hood standing there. "I saw you and stopped. I can take a look if you want."

"Um yeah…" Reid kept his distance from the man and the flashlight to one side so he could see the man but not blind him. "Thank you… It just stopped on me. I'm not sure what's wrong."

"I'll take a look."

Reid stepped back and to the side, out of the line of fire from more water. The man leaned over the engine for a long time. "I think it might be the alternator." He finally said. "Unfortunately, I don't have any tools to fix it. Do you have a cell phone?"

"Yeah… I was going to call the auto club." Reid gestured over his shoulder.

"Here… You can use mine." The man pulled one hand out of his pocket.

In the low light, Reid saw the gun. He froze as the other man smiled. "Why don't you hand over your wallet?"

"I don't want any trouble."

"Neither do I. Give me the God Damn wallet _now_."

"I'm a federal agent. You don't want to do this."

The taller man stepped up and pistol-whipped Reid across the head. He dropped into the wet and the mud with a thud on his right side. He groaned as pain exploded across his face.

"Why won't you stay dead?" The man said to him.

"What?"

The man pulled back his leg and kicked Reid in the ribs so hard he screamed as he heard at least one of them break.

"I told you I'd kill you every time you come back. Why do you torment me?" The man shouted over the rain that plopped down on Reid's face.

He pulled Reid up from the mud and Reid though he felt something tear inside. Large fists pummeled his abdomen and kidneys. Pain bloomed in new places as other places went numb. "Teach you a lesson. How many times do I have to kill you?" The man shouted at him.

"Stop, Please…" Reid gasped out against the burning pain that was bewildering in it's intensity.

He threw a fist and Reid felt something in his face break. He couldn't scream anymore. All he could do was moan. He couldn't stand up, but it didn't matter. The tall man kicked his legs out from under him. He fell onto his left side crushing the broken ribs. He began sobbing in earnest as the feet kicked him. He tried to curl up, but he couldn't move anymore. He couldn't breathe.

"_You're weak!"_

"No…" He gasped.

"_Confess your sins!" _

The ozone in the air faded away to the revolting smell of fish hearts and his own filth. No! He couldn't be back there again.

"This time I'll send you away for good." The man shouted down at him.

"_Do you see this?" Tobias held up the bullet then slapped it into the revolver. He saw the chamber rotate heard the clacking of the steel in slow motion. "That's for God's will." _

Someone was lifting him up into the air. He jolted; pain ripped his insides into jelly. "No!" He thought he was screaming, but in reality he as moaning and crying.

"Teach you to defy me." The voice growled in his ear.

Then lights washed over them and a car stopped. Voices shouted and the man threw him down into the mud. He heard his body thud, but he didn't feel it. He waited to feel the agony again and as he waited, the rain pelted his face, washing his blood into the mud.


	2. Dinner Interruptus Part 2

Disclaimer: see my profile

A/n just wanted to say thanks to all my readers. Here's the next chapter. Please enjoy. I am including Emily's cat in this story.

Dinner Interruptus Part 2

Emily stood back to survey her look in the bathroom mirror. She'd found a blood red, silk dress that almost looked black at the maternity shop three days ago. It had skinny straps that held up a princess waist. It fell to just above her knees in gathered folds that flared when she turned. She left her hair down and applied matching dark red lipstick to her mouth.

Excitement flared in her stomach. Soon Spencer would be home and she could hold him in her arms again. She'd wanted to go out west with him when they got the call that Dianna Reid had pneumonia, but she understood that she couldn't just walk into a hospital with Reid and meet Dianna. His mother had to be introduced slowly to new situations or she'd suffer a setback.

Emily sighed and went out into the living room. The rest of the team had met Dianna Reid a few years ago when there had been a specific threat to the team. How she wished she'd been on the team then so that she could've gone to Las Vegas with her sweet man. He'd suffered terribly. She'd heard it in his voice every night for two long weeks.

Sergio jumped up on the couch with her and bumped his head into her hand. "No more treats for you." She scolded him.

He stared at her out of green yellow eyes with an accusing glint. "Sorry, but Spencer is coming home and nothing is going to ruin this surprise dinner." She glanced at the clock. Two and a half hours had passed since she spoke to him.

Thunder clapped outside and Sergio yowled in irritation. "You're the only cat I've ever met that freaks out in a rainstorm." She said as rain lashed in fury against the windows. "You have nine lives after all."

The cat only stared up at her with his bright eyes.

"Sorry… You'll have to deal with it until it's over."

The cat climbed into her lap, which lacked the room it once had.

"Aw… You're such a pretty cat. Yes you are."

She talked baby talk to the frightened cat because it took her mind off wondering when Reid would walk in the door. She stroked the cat's beautiful black fur and scratched behind his ears. He started to purr contentedly.

"I wish a scratch behind my ears could relax me that fast." She grumbled to the cat.

Okay, so paying attention to a freaked out cat wasn't really getting her mind off Spencer. _Where was he?_ It was past the time he should be walking in the door. She looked at the clock to see that another five minutes had passed with agonizing slowness.

She put down Sergio, ignoring his protests and got up to pace. More thunder boomed and Sergio took off. She supposed she'd find him hiding in the bathroom. He liked to sleep in there for some reason and he hid there when she did something to irritate him.

She looked over at her cell phone. She could call him and satisfy the worry that was beginning to creep into her belly.

"No… We won't bother daddy when he's trying to drive in the rain." She said to the baby. "He's probably fine and its just hormones making me crazy."

She went to the window and looked out on the darkening sky and the rain that fell in torrents to splash against the windows in endless streams. It was a good thing she had everything set up for dinner here. She looked over at the small table, once again set up for an intimate dinner. She just had to light the two tall white tapers in their candleholders. She'd wait until he came in so they didn't burn too low. Dinner was warming in the oven. He'd scold her for cooking, but she'd felt so good in the last few days she couldn't help it.

"We're going to have Daddy's favorite tonight." She told the baby. "He loves macaroni and cheese. You'll like it too. It's yummy."

Reid constantly teased her about the way she talked to the baby despite the fact that he also spoke very seriously to her stomach every day telling the baby to be good and not make her sick. It was so cute. She supposed he might lecture the baby on getting rest and not kicking her too hard now that the morning sickness was over. That would be funny because he'd told her more then once that the baby needed to stretch and move to grow and develop properly.

_Oh God… Where was he? _

If only he'd walk in the door, she wouldn't complain if he went off on some tangent about rainstorms or traffic patterns in Washington DC. She'd gladly listen to all of it without complaint.

She looked at the clock again. Another ten minutes had passed. He should've been there by now despite the rain. Irrational anger over took her worry. If he had to stop somewhere on the way he should have told her so she didn't worry. He might not think he needed to hurry, but she missed him and needed to see that he was all right after his ordeal in Las Vegas. She needed to hold him, kiss him and make it all go away for a while because that's what he would do for her.

"Don't worry… He's going to be okay." If she repeated it over in her head, she'd make it come true.

She straightened her spine with these words. She was Emily Prentiss, she didn't freak out at the least provocation. She knew when to panic and when not to panic.

She sighed and walked back to the couch. She winced a little sitting down. The leg she'd broke five months ago was healed, but it still ached in bad weather. She laughed at the thought that now she was like old codgers you saw on television predicting the weather by the pain in their shoulders. Spencer said it was all about barometric pressure changes and their affects on the human body. She supposed he had a point.

The rain lashed even more violently against the window_. What if he'd had a car accident? _Shivers raced up her spine. She suddenly felt cold to her bones. It was worse then those hours trapped in the back of an SUV with Spencer.

_At least you had him with you. You're all alone here._

She put her hands over her ears to try to block out her irritating inner voice. She was completely over reacting. It was just a reaction to all the stress of the last few weeks. Her hormones were in over drive and she was freaking out.

She got up again and went to the kitchen. She would slice some French bread and get it ready for dinner. Yes, it was time to get dinner out of the oven. He would walk in the door at any minute. The surprise had to be ready. She hurried over to the oven and carefully pulled the casserole dish out and set it aside to cool for a bit. She shut off the oven and went back out to the living area. The little table in the corner with two chairs with its silver, crystal and china suddenly looked very lonely to her. The only thing lacking were two people sitting there enjoying dinner with a bottle of sparkling cider.

She turned from the table to her I Pod dock. She scrolled through her collection of downloaded music until she found a song she had heard the night Spencer first stayed over at her home. They'd gone out to dinner and then to a club. They'd played this song.

_You and I were made for this. I was made to taste your kiss. We were made to never fall away._

_She tried to think about that night. How he'd balked at staying because he'd never stayed the night with anyone. She remembered the silk of his hair tangled in her hands as she pulled his head down for a kiss. His lips had tasted of coffee and something sweet she couldn't identify but liked very much. His hands, so delicate and sculpted, had turned out to be strong and demanding in passion's heat. _

_She shook her head as the song ended because he didn't walk through the door and stop the furious pounding of her heart. She wanted to shout out that now was the time for him to walk through the door. It was time to explain his lateness to her. He'd tell her that he'd got stuck in traffic and just forgot to call her. He'd see the worry in her eyes and he'd apologize. He'd explain it all when he walked through the doors. _

_She realized that she was holding her hands in fists next to her side. _Her nails were biting into the skin of her palms. That was okay because the pain helped her stay focused. The bite of her nails in her flesh brought the world into sharp focus as she sternly told herself not to panic.

_"_I'll just call him and he'll tell me he's parking the car."

She straightened her shoulders, took in a large breath and rubbed one of the hands over her belly. "You know Daddy's okay don't you baby?"

The baby didn't move or shift within her to show that it had heard and understood. Of course it didn't, it was a baby, not someone sitting there with her trying to calm her nerves.

"Just pick up the phone and call him. You'll feel stupid when he picks up and everything is okay, but it's better then not knowing if something is wrong."

She nodded in agreement with this logic, and reached for her phone. She touched it and it rang under her hand sending her heart into overdrive.

"Spencer…" She answered as calmly as she could, but she couldn't breathe very well.

"No ma'am… My name is Darla. I'm calling from Georgetown University Hospital. You're listed as the emergency contact for Dr. Spencer Reid," said the voice of a perfect stranger.

"Y-yes…" Oh God.. She'd know something like this going to happen.

"I'm calling to inform you that…"


	3. Waiting with Family

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all, thanks again for your wonderful support. Please enjoy the next chapter_**

**_Waiting with Family _**

Rain slid down the window. She couldn't take her eyes from the glass and the dripping water. She couldn't sit down and watch the game on the television put there for the distraction of people waiting to hear good news instead of bad. She stared out at the black night, the wavering water and the lights of cars that passed the hospital.

Where did they all go? She wondered blankly. There must be some place they had to be, if they were willing to drive in the pounding rain. They weren't on their way to the hospital and bad news, as if she'd been. She didn't know how much time had passed since she'd walked through the doors with water dripping from her hair. The water had ruined her dress because she hadn't stopped to put on a coat after the nurse told her that Spencer was here.

Her hands shook, as they'd shook since that revelation. She couldn't make them stop trembling. She couldn't make them still through force of will. The talent, gift or curse of compartmentalizing her life was out the window. It had vanished the moment an anonymous voice on the phone told her to get down here as soon as she could.

She watched as two more drops elongated on the window and slid away out of sight. Her life was sliding away, breaking apart like frozen river water in the first thaw of spring. It was bad! He was in surgery and it was bad. Oh God…She fought back the urge to cry because if she let the tears loose she would scream in agony. She couldn't do it. She had to find a way to be strong for Spencer because he needed her.

"Emily…"

She didn't turn around.

"How is he?"

She didn't move because she couldn't look into JJ's eyes and keep it together. A light touch on her arm nearly undid her resolve so she kept her eyes on the rain and the black sky outside the windows.

"He's in s-surgery. They don't - um they haven't said - Oh God JJ… What am I going to do?"

She turned into JJ's arms and broke down, crying so hard she began to cough. Her chest hurt with the force of it. The headache, begun with the phone call, pounded like a trip hammer in her skull.

"Here," She felt herself being led from the window. No, she had to stay there looking out at the storm because if she saw the waiting room she'd wail in despair.

JJ was stronger than she looked. She pulled Emily away despite Emily trying to plant her feet. "You need to sit down. You shouldn't be on your feet."

Emily let JJ push her down onto a small padded bench big enough for two people. Something soft came around her shoulders. She pulled it close, imaging that it was Spencer's arms and all of this was just a sick joke.

JJ held onto her hand as she spoke softly to someone near them. Emily kept her eyes on the chocolate brown carpeting because it reminded her of his eyes. She could pretend that he was there, holding her hand while they waited for a doctor's appointment. She felt her mouth lift into a trembling smile with the memory of their first doctor's appointment after confirming her pregnancy.

_When they'd walked into the OB's office, Spencer had gone a little white in the face. The waiting room was half-full of women in varying stages of pregnancy. There were some men in the room, but most of them had their attention on the movie playing on the television in one corner or their noses in magazines. _

_She'd watched Spencer's eyes dart around the room as though he were trying to take in everything at once. He completely missed the looks the receptionist was giving him as she passed over the standard paper work for new patients. Emily hadn't missed them and was tempted to smack the perky little blond till she understood the facts of life._

_Instead, she'd pushed him to a couple of chairs in one corner of the horseshoe shaped waiting room. He'd given her a look of "What did I do?" which made her want to smack him too. He was so damn clueless it was maddening. _

"_Emily…"_

"_Shh… I have to get this filled out." _

_She watched him out of the corner of her eye, looking around at the room decorated in light green, pink and white. She supposed it was supposed to be soothing, but it didn't soothe her, she was nervous as hell. She hated meeting new doctors. _

_She hurried through the paperwork and came back to sit with Spencer. He'd looked up in surprise when she took his hand. It was the first time she'd held his hand in public unless they were in a dark movie theater. _

"_What's wrong?" He asked quietly. _

"_I'm just a little nervous." _

"_I researched Dr. Bell. She graduated number three in her class at Harvard Medical School. She did her obstetrics residency at Boston General before moving to Washington DC. She's delivered three hundred and nine babies with a mortality rate of less than half a percent. She's considered the best in her field in this half of the country." _

"_It's a good thing she had an opening then, isn't it." Emily hissed. _

_Her mother had pulled some strings, Emily was sure, because Deborah Bell was a good friend of Elizabeth Prentiss. Emily had wanted to refuse the favor, but found that she couldn't because Spencer was right, she was the best. Emily wanted the best for her baby. _

_Spencer didn't respond to her sarcasm. He just squeezed her hand and rubbed a thumb over the back of her knuckles. _

"_I'm sorry," She whispered after a few minutes. _

_He turned his beautiful puppy brown eyes on her. "Don't worry…" He said simply. _

_They'd been sitting there in companionable silence until the nurse came out and said. "Emily Prentiss?"_

"Emily…"

She looked up to see JJ standing in front of her again, "One of the surgeons is here to speak with you."

A very short woman with curly black hair and black eyes that reminded Emily of a raven, stood before her in blood stained green scrubs. Oh God… That was Spencer's blood. Her stomach rebelled. "Rest room," She hissed out from clenched teeth.

"Emily…" JJ took her arm and helped her to her feet. "I'm going to be sick JJ."

Someone else took her free arm and led her quickly down a hall to a bathroom. She rushed into one of the stalls and vomited until her stomach quivered. She began to sob again, sitting back on her knees where she'd collapsed in front of the toilet. She was going to be alone. All she had now was the baby.

"Come on," JJ said gently.

She vaguely heard the flush of the toilet. Then she was being led from the stall to the sinks. She managed to rinse out her mouth and wash her hands. She didn't look in the mirror because she didn't want to see her own face and the sure signs of terror that would be in her eyes. If she didn't see it, then maybe she could put it away again.

"Thank you." She said to JJ who nodded and led her out the door.

The surgeon was there. Emily looked at the small woman's face instead of her blood stained scrubs. The woman gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm Dr. Price. Dr. Reid is still in surgery, but I wanted to give you an update. He has three broken ribs. There's damage to his spleen and one of his kidneys."

Emily's knees began to buckle, but another person held on to her from the other side as Garcia held her left arm. When had her friend got to the hospital, she wondered insanely. She couldn't seem to keep her mind on one train of thought. It kept skipping away like little girls playing hopscotch in summer time.

"What else?" Emily asked.

"One cheek bone is shattered and his jaw is broken."

Emily finally stared the woman straight in the eye. "What else?"

"There's some head trauma that's worrying us, but he has an entire team working on him Ms. Prentiss. He's come through it very well so far. Now, I won't lie to you. He's critical right now and we still have about three hours more work to do. We will try to save his spleen and kidney. The good news is that he can live without a spleen and with only one kidney if need be."

Emily didn't think it was good news but she couldn't think of that right now. The only organ that worried her was his magnificent brain. _Please God, don't let there be damage_. She couldn't take it.

Dr. Price patted her arm and left to go back into surgery. Emily realized that Hotch stood in front of her, and that Will and Morgan were there too. She vaguely noticed Rossi next to Morgan, but she couldn't make herself go through the hellos and greetings.

"We'll get him anything he needs." Hotch said. "He has the best, but if we need more, we'll find them."

She looked up into his dark eyes and saw raging fury that would've terrified her had she not understood it was directed at the person that had nearly killed her lover.

"I want you to go sit down."

She wanted to argue, but she didn't have the energy. She went with JJ and Garcia to one of the larger benches with an upholstered back. They sat on either side of her like protective bookends. She pulled the soft thing on her shoulders - she could see it was a bright pink sweater - around her bare shoulders. It had to be Garcia's, so she smiled gratefully at her friend.

"You looked wet and cold when we came in." She said.

"I didn't notice. What am I going to do?" She asked her friend. "What if he doesn't make it?"

Garcia sniffed and Emily noticed that she'd been crying too. Her eyes were puffy and red. JJ's eyes were red too. "I'm sorry guys. He's your friend too."

"My sweet cheeks is going to be just fine." Garcia declared.

She wore a white dress with red and pink flowers all over it. Her hair was pulled up on top of her head with a huge purple Dahlia. Her lips were red to match her glasses. The steely determination in them made Emily smile just a little.

"Yeah… Spence is going to be okay. He and Henry have a play date next week." JJ reminded Emily who nodded.

"I know… He's been looking forward to it for three weeks."

"The girls are right." Morgan said. "My man is going to be just fine."

He and Rossi had taken individual seats across from her. Hotch was standing at the window as Emily had done when she got there, but he was within earshot.

"Spencer Reid is one of the strongest men I know." Rossi said. "He'll be fine and freaking out about fatherhood again in no time."

This made them all laugh. Emily sat back and tried to smile too. She had everyone around her that she needed but the most important person. He was on an operating table and she didn't know if he'd come out if it despite the faith of her friends.

The hours passed like days. Emily's eyes burned with exhaustion, but she wouldn't lie down on the bench as Hotch tried to convince her. She had to be awake for Spencer. Her mother came into the ER three hours after the surgeon had updated them.

JJ moved away so Elizabeth could sit next to Emily. "I'm so sorry Em."

Emily didn't respond to the nickname her mother hadn't used since Emily was a child.

"How is he?"

"What do you care mother?" Emily said in a lifeless tone. "You've never showed any interest in him. In fact," her voice began to rise a little. "You were pissed that I started seeing him. You hate that I'm having his baby. Why don't you just go away?"

"Emily! I care very much for both of you."

"Please just leave mother. I don't want you here. Go back to that big marble mausoleum you call a home. Go back to Dad and tell him that Spencer's lying on an operating table, maybe dying. I'm sure that'll make you both happy."

"Emily Prentiss… I will not be spoken to like that. You know I don't want -"

"Save it mother and get out of my sight."

A security officer headed their way. "I need you to keep it down, or I'll have to ask you to leave."

"It's alright," Elizabeth rose gracefully to her feet. "Can you tell me where the chapel is?" She asked him.

He led her away with Hotch following them. He looked back at Rossi who nodded and went to Emily. He didn't speak, but just squeezed her hand. She looked over at him and tried to smile. Next to Spencer, he was the one she could count on for logic and unrelenting honesty. If he said it would be okay, then she would try to believe it.

"Emily…"

She looked up at Morgan who indicated the same surgeon hurrying into the waiting room. "Ms Prentiss…."

"Yes," Her belly quivered again, but she bit back on the nausea.

"We've finished the surgeries. Dr Reid came through them very well. He'll be moved into recovery shortly."

"When can I see him?"

The doctor hesitated.

"What is it?" Emily nearly shouted.

"Dr. Reid is in a coma."


	4. The Morning After

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all... Thank you for your wonderful support especially all who've added this to their alerts, favorites and left reviews. You all rock. Please enjoy. _**

**_The Morning After_**

_T_he doctor insisted that they keep Spencer's visitors at two at a time. Emily went first with JJ by her side. She wanted desperately to see Spencer, but at the same time she loathed to see what had been done to him by some random stranger in the rain.

She let JJ go in first, following her inside the small room with one wall of glass facing the nurses' station. She couldn't stop the moaning gasp at the sight of so many tubes and wires attached to her beloved Spencer.

"Oh God Spence…" JJ said stepping forward, then she stopped, looked around at Emily and stepped back out of the way.

Emily didn't know how she walked over to where he lay flat on his back. His face was so badly bruised, it was barely recognizable. Her beautiful angel's face was gone, replaced by some gross parody that sent her heart racing. She felt her hands balling up into fists and forced herself to relax.

"Hey baby…" She leaned over to place a gentle kiss on his lips and then one on his forehead.

A white sheet was pulled up to his chin, but she knew there would be bandages, stitching and more bruising under the sheet.

"It's Emily," she said, choking back the tears that came too fast and too easily. "I'm here with JJ and the others. You better hurry up and wake because you got a play date with Henry coming up."

She wanted to hold one of his hands, but it was under the sheet that covered him. "Hey Spence," JJ said from the other side of the bed.

She leaned in to kiss one of his cheeks. "We're going to find the guy that did this to you. I swear it on Henry's life. He won't get away with this. I promise you."

They both stood there staring down at him for a minute, watching the rise and fall of his chest. Emily knew the others wanted to see him but she was rooted to the spot as though she were a transplanted tree.

"I'll go get Hotch and Rossi." JJ said quietly.

"Thank you JJ." Emily said.

When her friend left, Emily bent to kiss him again. "I have to step outside so the others can see you. I promise I won't go far."

She gently raked her fingers through his short hair, blinking her eyes against more tears. Then she fled from the room and its awful hissing machines, but stayed outside the doors while the others visited their friend. She listened as they all promised they'd get the man responsible, but Emily wondered if they would. This was just the sort of luck Spencer had, so she wondered if it would be that easy.

Morgan and Garcia tried to make her leave with them after they finished their visit with him, but she couldn't go. She had to stay there with him. She had to be there when he woke up.

When they all left after giving up on making her go home to rest, she took the chair by his bed and began to wait.

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Sometime in the night, she'd fallen asleep with her head drooping forward on her chest. The sounds of footsteps on the white tile floor jerked her awake. She groaned in pain, her neck seemed to be frozen in place and not willing to cooperate.

"Are you okay Emily?"

She pulled her eyes from the flooring groaning again as her neck creaked. Rossi stood there with two steaming cups in his hands. He looked like someone that hadn't slept all night. He was looking at Reid and frowning, clear concern clouding his dark eyes.

"Rossi," her tone questioned instead of welcomed but she couldn't help it.

"I brought you some tea. You should go home and get some rest."

"I can't leave Dave. I have to be here when he wakes up." She took the tea and sipped the warm liquid gratefully.

"Reid needs you rested. He'd be upset if he knew you'd slept in that chair all night."

She sipped again at the drink, keeping her eyes on his bruised face and the rise and fall of his chest. "Don't pull the guilt card with me." She snapped.

"You're pregnant and you've had a huge shock." He interrupted her when she tried to speak over him. "Do you think you're helping him by putting your life and life of your baby at risk because you won't take care of yourself?"

"I've only been here a few hours." She argued as resentment burned in her gut like bile.

Rossi sighed and took the only other chair in the room. "You know we all care about you two." He began.

"Dave, please…"

"I'm just saying that I understand your desire to just sit here and will Reid back to us, but you need some rest too."

"Did Hotch send you up here?" Emily asked suspiciously.

Rossi looked up at her with a slight grin crossing his bearded face. "Actually, it was Garcia, but Hotch backed her up, including her threats to hack into my book and erase the last three chapters if I didn't at least get you to come down to the café with me for some breakfast."

"Alright, I don't want to be responsible for you losing three chapters of your latest masterpiece."

She let him pull her to her feet. She staggered a bit on the heels she still wore. "Oh yeah… You're perfectly fine." Rossi observed very sarcastically.

"I am fine." She insisted.

He pulled her from the room and down the hallway to the large double doors that separated the hospital from the ICU. As soon as she passed through the doors, she found herself engulfed in Garcia's hug. "How's my sweet boy today."

"Um… He's the same." She clamped down so hard on the urge to give up to tears it physically hurt.

Garcia nodded and held up a large tote bag with a purple background and white lilies. "I brought you something to change into since you refuse to go home."

"Garcia I don't have time -"

"You'll make time for yourself or we'll make you and you know we can." Her teasing, lighthearted tone fled.

Emily flinched back at the sparking light in Garcia's eyes. She hadn't seen Garcia like that since her shooting and it scared her. It was the fact that she did flinch and step back that made her realize she was exhausted and ready to break.

"I'm sorry PG. Thank you."

"I'll forgive you because I know you're in hell right now."

Something in Garcia's eyes stunned Emily. Her friend was in hell too. They all suffered because they all loved Spencer. It was impossible not to love him, to want to protect him even if he was the bravest and strongest person she knew.

She realized that all of them including Will stood in the hallway outside ICU and were observing her carefully. "I'm sorry." She said.

"Prove it," Hotch said, pain overriding the usual scowl in his eyes. "Change your clothes and come get something to eat with us. We will come back."

"Yes sir." She straightened her spine, took Garcia's bag and headed into the ladies room.

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"I promise I'll call you if anything changes." JJ said.

She hugged Emily hard. "Go get something to eat. You need your strength for Spence and the baby."

Emily had changed into a pair of dark blue maternity slacks and a purple maternity blouse. Garcia had thought to grab her brush so she was able to brush out her hair and pull it back in a ponytail. She splashed cold water on her face, but it didn't help the pain in her head and her heart.

"I feel like someone blew sand in my eyes." She said.

"You need more sleep."

"I'll have to settle for something to eat and more tea. Can't have coffee with little Reid on board" Emily laughed as she patted her belly.

JJ reached out a hand to smooth Emily's ponytail. "I'm sure the first thing Reid will ask for when he wakes up is for some coffee."

"Yeah…" Emily chuckled. "I don't know what he'd do if it was banned."

"Let's not think about that."

Emily surveyed her appearance. Her eyes were red and a little swollen. Her bangs were straight and a little too long. Her face looked too pale. She wished she had some makeup. She needed to look good for Spencer when he woke up.

"Come on," JJ pulled her gently from the mirror and the sinks. "The guys are waiting for you."

Emily found only Rossi, Morgan and Hotch in the hallway. "Where's Garcia?"

"She had some things to take care of," Rossi said cutting his eyes to Morgan.

"What's going on?" Emily asked.

"Let's get down to the cafeteria first." Hotch ordered, but his eyes were on Rossi and Morgan.

"I can tell something's wrong,"

"We'll get something to eat and talk about it."

The tone in Hotch's voice and the determination in his dark eyes told Emily she wouldn't get anything out of him until she cooperated.

"Then let's go get something to eat. I am kind of hungry." She admitted truthfully.

The hospital cafeteria food was better than Emily thought it would be. She sat directly across from Hotch while they ate so he would have to look at her.

"Alright," He sighed. "Garcia went back to Quantico. She wanted to stay here, but she also wants to find who did this to Spencer."

Emily let the fork full of scrambled eggs she'd ordered fall back to her plate with a clank. "Do you know anything?"

"We do know that the DC metro police are working on a similar case."

"Aaron."

Emily turned her gaze on Rossi who'd bitten into the blueberry muffin he'd ordered with his fried eggs and hash browns. "What!" She demanded in an even and low tone. "What are you guys holding back from me?"

"The details aren't important -" Hotch began.

"Excuse me if I don't agree with you Hotch." She spat out. "The man I love, the father of my child is lying in this hospital in a coma. They don't know if he'll come out of it."

"Emily…"

"Shut up Derek Morgan. You don't care about him like I do."

"That's not true." He said in an even tone, but his dark eyes reflected his hurt. "I love him like a brother Prentiss. You know that."

"Stop it both of you." Hotch hissed.

Emily closed her mouth only because an old man with a cane and a plate of eggs and bacon was staring directly at them as though they were unruly children.

"I'm sorry." She said reluctantly and she didn't mean it.

"Garcia found six missing person's reports in the last year. All of them were young men that resemble Reid."

Emily made a go-ahead motion with her fork even though she wasn't sure she wanted to hear the rest of what Hotch had to say.

"They found a body off DuPont Circle three nights ago. He had the same injuries as Reid only he'd been stabbed to death after the beating."

She put her fork down again. There was something in Hotch's eyes that he wasn't telling her. Her heart began to beat like a frightened kitten in her chest.

"What else?" She asked in a choked voice.

"Whoever killed him took his tongue."


	5. Keeping it Together

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_a/n hey all... Thank you again for your wonderful support and for adding this to your favorites and alert. Many thanks to my beta for her help with the medical stuff. _**

**_Keeping it Together_**

She put her fork down again. There was something in Hotch's eyes that he wasn't telling her. Her heart began to beat like a frightened kitten lived in her chest.

"What else?" She asked in a choked voice.

"Whoever killed him took his tongue."

Everything went grey around her. Sound elongated and echoed as though someone shouted to her inside a long, dark tunnel. Her stomach rebelled. She leapt from her chair and ran out of the cafeteria. She headed for the double doors to the front of the hospital. She didn't know where the rest room was on that floor and she knew she wouldn't make it anyway.

Someone slipped an arm around her as she lost what little she'd eaten of breakfast into the concrete planter just outside the door. The touch was strong and gentle, but it wasn't Spencer. It wasn't the touch that she wanted to feel.

"Let go of me." She pulled away, swiping at her mouth with her hand and wincing at the burn of acid in her throat.

"No…" Rossi led her away from the planter around a corner to a small area with picnic tables and more greenery and flowers. It looked like a staff break area, but no one was around. "Sit down Emily."

She sat on the hot concrete bench. The sun was beginning to remind her why it was the middle of June. Still the heat couldn't push the chill out of her heart.

"I didn't want Hotch to tell you like that but you wouldn't leave it alone."

"I'm sorry. I can't seem to control my reactions to anything anymore."

"It's called hormones and mood swings. It's normal."

"It's not _normal_ for me, Rossi. I don't like losing control."

He sat back on the bench next to her and looked up at the blue sky that had followed the rainstorm. It was as though it had never happened.

"It's one of your greatest strengths and weaknesses, this need for control over your whole life. You can't control everything Emily."

"I know that Rossi."

He glanced over at her. She was looking down at the still wet ground around the rose bushes instead of looking at him.

"Reid was lucky. A car carrying two couples out on a double date saw what that man was doing to him. They stopped the car, and he took off. Garcia's trying to trace the van he drove. The DC Metro police have all of them working on a sketch of him. I hope Reid remembers what he looks like. It would help us."

"You talk like you're just going to walk back in there and Spencer'll just sit and tell you everything he saw with no problem. That's not going to happen, Rossi. He's in a _coma_."

"Yes… Reid's in a coma, but I believe he'll wake up soon. You should too."

She turned blazing dark eyes on him. "It won't work Rossi. You can't guilt me into agreeing with you. Spencer's been through so much. What if he decides he doesn't want to come back? My God, I can't blame him. He's been bullied, beat up, shot, tortured and on top of all of it, he worries constantly about inheriting his mother's illness. What if it's all too much?"

She spoke in a quiet passionless voice that alarmed the hell out of Rossi. He took her hand and squeezed when she tried to pull away from him.

"It's because he's been through all of that, I know he'll come out of this." He said with absolute certainty in his voice.

"I need him. Our baby needs its father. I can't lose him Dave."

"You're not going to lose him. Now come back inside and finish your breakfast."

"I can't eat now."

He nodded and stood up in the brightness of the mid morning sun and smiled at her. "Then let's go back up and see Reid.

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The ride back up to the ICU gave her a couple of minutes to think about what she would say to him. If it were true that a person in a coma could hear you, then she had to be as positive as she could.

Hotch and Morgan had left. They'd left to go back to Quantico to get to work on finding the man that had nearly killed Reid. She didn't know how Hotch had gotten the DCPD to invite him to the case when it seemed like they thought they didn't need help. She didn't know how it was that Strauss wasn't interested in keeping them off the case. She wondered if Rossi had spoken to her. She looked over at him and he smiled at her as if he knew what she'd been thinking.

When she got to Reid's room, she saw that the nurses had been in to turn him again. They said it was necessary to turn patients in Reid's condition so that they didn't develop bedsores. Red lay on his right side, turned away from the wall of windows that faced the nurses' station.

"He's still stable." A nurse said to her. She was small, a little on the chubby side with rosy cheeks and light blue eyes. "I'm Karen. I'll be looking after Dr. Reid until this evening."

"Is he… Did he wake up?" Emily asked.

"No…" She touched Emily's arm. "He made it through the first six hours very well. Dr. Brewster thinks he'll wake up sooner rather than later."

"What about pain management? He can't have narcotics."

Karen nodded. "Your boss, Agent Hotchner already informed Dr. Brewster. We'll give him a non-narcotic painkiller when he wakes up. For now, the coma will allow him to rest and to begin to heal."

Emily sighed with relief and nodded her head. "Is it alright if we go in?"

"Yes… Talk to him. Keep it light and positive. Think good thoughts. Those things do matter."

Emily nodded again.

"How far along are you?" Karen asked.

Emily only stared at her. "Oh right… I'm almost six months along."

"If you need anything, let us know."

Emily smiled genuinely for the first time at the smaller woman in blue scrubs. "I will. Thank you for taking care of him."

"It's my pleasure."

"I'm going to go back to Quantico. JJ said she'd come back after work. She couldn't get away for the day, something about a press conference that's been in the works for a couple of weeks over Afghanistan.

"It's okay. I kind of want to spend some time alone with him."

He patted her arm again. "I'm going down to give blood before I go."

She blinked back tears so hard it hurt her throat and nose. "Thank you."

"The rest of the team gave last night. I thought I'd follow their example and do something positive."

"I really appreciate everything Rossi. Sorry I freaked out a little."

"If you took this all in stride, I'd think there was something wrong with you."

She punched him lightly in the shoulder. "You have such a way with words."

He headed away to the elevators. "It's all about keeping your perspective."

She snorted out a little laughter as the bubble of pressure in her chest began to break a little. Then, she turned back to the door to Spencer's room. Suddenly, she didn't know what to do or say to him.

He looked the same as he had when she'd left that morning. He still had tubes and wires connected in every possible place that she could see.

She wished she could see the sculpted planes of his face. All the bruising hurt her heart. It wasn't right that someone could do this to him and just disappear into the night. She pulled the chair over so that she could sit looking at his face.

"I'm back baby… They made me go change my clothes and get something to eat."

He didn't respond to the sound of her voice. She saw that one of his hands was peeking out from under the sheets. It was as though the hand didn't belong to him though, because it was pristine. It was the only thing familiar to her, the hands with their delicate and strong fingers.

"Do you remember the first time we held hands? It wasn't at all romantic, but I felt something even then."

_The lights were dim inside the jet as they traveled home from Colorado. The night sky outside had a way of equalizing everything just by turning black. _

_She needed to talk to Reid to tell him it wasn't his fault that she'd taken a beating. She reached over and clasped one of his hands. He didn't like to be touched, so it was a bit surprising that he'd allow a hug and hand holding in the same night. _

"_This isn't your fault." She said very firmly._

_He just looked at her with the eyes of a small puppy someone kicked to the curb to huddle in the rain. More than anything else, he looked so confused. He was used to being the one to be hurt she knew. She still didn't know why she'd immediately admitted to being an FBI agent except that it felt like the right thing to do. _

_She saw in his eyes as she talked to him that he didn't quite believe that somehow it wasn't his fault, but she thought he might come to change his mind if she didn't push him. _

_She liked the feel of his fingers touching her hand. They were warm, soft and strong. She'd felt something electric pass between them, but she didn't think he'd felt the same. It was okay because she decided that she'd wait and if there were anything between them, it would grow on its own._

"I just wanted to sit there and hold your hand all the way back to DC, but I knew I couldn't do that. You were nowhere near close to being ready for something like that. I'm just glad you finally got up the courage to ask me out. Now you have to get up the courage to wake up and face the world again. Come _on… _I know you can do it. Open your eyes Spencer. The baby and I need you so much. Wake up and let me see your beautiful eyes."

He didn't move or open his eyes. All she could see were the bruises. All she could hear were the snick and hiss of the machines, God how she hated those damn machines. She wanted to rip them all to pieces even if they helped keep Spencer alive. If she didn't have to hear them, then she didn't have to live in reality. She could pretend it was all a mistake. It she tried she could imagine that Spencer was just taking a short nap and he'd wake up at any minute.

She put her head down on the blanket next to him. "Please come back to me sweetheart. I love you so much. Don't leave me here all on my own. I can't stand it without you."

She closed her eyes and fell asleep to dream of a time when she and Spencer walked together in the sunshine, holding hands and basking in the warmth of love.

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Garcia's computer beeped at her impatiently. Her eyes went flat and cold. "There you are you son of a bitch."

Detective Winder of the DCPD had sent her an email of the sketch done from the eyewitness accounts of Reid's beating. It was going out over the wire to every law enforcement office in the state. They wouldn't stop looking until they found him now that he'd attacked a Federal officer.

She opened a program and began running the image through every facial recognition program known to man. If he was anywhere in the system, she would find him. It didn't matter how long it took. It was only a matter of time and she'd hand him to the guys on a silver platter. She only wished she could go with the guys to take him down.

"We're coming for you." She promised him. "You're going to wish you'd never hurt my sweet boy."


	6. Awake

Disclaimer: see my profile

A/n hey all... Here's the next chapter. Please enjoy! Thank you all again for your great support of this story

Awake

"Agent Prentiss…"

Emily woke up with another stiff neck when Karen touched her shoulder and spoke to her.

"Oh…" She wiped her hand over her eyes

"I'm sorry to wake you, but we need to turn Dr. Reid and the doctor's coming in to check him in a minute."

Emily felt her head nod. "Okay… I need a bathroom break anyway. I'll come back in a few minutes."

She kissed Reid gently on the mouth. "I have to go so the nurses and the doctor can take care of you. I promise I'll come back in a few minutes baby."

Karen gave her an encouraging smile. "He's not in any pain." She said.

Emily started a bit. "I guess I'm wearing my concerns all over my face." She said with a little laugh.

"His vital signs look very good." The nurse assured her.

"Yeah… I just wish he'd wake up." She left the room without waiting for the nurse to respond.

The bathroom down the hall had just one toilet and no stall. She couldn't lock the door for emergency purposes. She sighed and went about taking care of her throbbing bladder and throwing a bit of cold water on her face. Her stomach rumbled and she wanted to ignore it, but she knew Spencer wouldn't like it if she didn't eat. She had to take care of herself and the baby for when he woke up. She glanced at her watch and saw that it was almost eleven in the morning. She'd take a quick break.

She came back into ICU after taking the time to go back to the cafeteria for a sandwich and a glass of milk. Somehow, she felt better with food in her stomach. She wondered what Spencer would say about blood sugar levels and its effect on your mood and the functioning of your mind. She'd give anything to hear him spout off about it.

Dr. Adam Brewster stood next to Spencer's bed when she walked in. He was a very tall man with black hair and deep brown eyes. His face was craggy; looking like someone had carved it out of a granite mountain. His skin was pale for such dark hair, but it was kind. He looked up and smiled at her. "He's doing very well. We got through the first critical hours."

"When is he going to wake up?" She asked impatiently.

"I don't know. It could be hours, or it could be days. His body is healing and he's getting the rest he needs to deal with the pain and everything he's going to have to deal with when he wakes up. We were able to save his spleen and repair the damage to his right kidney. I'm still very concerned about the head trauma he suffered."

"Will he be able to talk, to tell us what happened to him?" She asked moving to take his hand.

He lay on his back again and he still looked the same. She knew it was irrational, but she thought that something would be different after the nurses had turned him.

"I don't know… It's common that the last fifteen minutes before a traumatic event can be lost forever."

She nodded feeling her heart began to speed up again. If he didn't remember, what the man looked like that had attacked him they might not find him.

"I said it could be lost forever."

She looked up to see him observing Spencer. "He may remember everything. I'm not so sure that's a good thing though." He said, a frown taking up residence on his face. "I have to admit that I am amazed."

"Why?"

"I've rarely seen anyone outside a boxing ring take that kind of beating and live. He's a very strong young man."

"He's had to deal…" She stopped, cleared her throat and forced back the sob climbing in her throat. "He's had to deal with a lot in his life. He's the strongest person I know."

"Then he will come back. He's a fighter."

She squeezed Spencer's hand. Yes! He was a fighter. She had to remember that and know that he would come back to her and their baby.

"How are you?" The doctor turned his attention to her.

"I'm fine."

"You've had a huge shock. You should get some rest of the sake of your baby." He gestured toward her baby bump.

"I can't leave. I have to be here when he wakes up."

"He has a lot to live for."

She smiled. "Yes, he does have a lot to live for." She stroked a hand over her belly.

"Well, I've got other patients to look in on. I'll be back this evening."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She watched him walk out the door and out of sight. Doctors cared about their patients. Nurses did the best job they could to help the doctors pull the patient through to health, but they could all walk away. She couldn't walk away from Spencer and she didn't want to.

"Hey Spencer… I'm back. I had to leave for a while so the nurses and the doctor could do their thing. Dr. Brewster's the best. He said you're doing great. He didn't tell me anything I didn't already know about you babe. You're a fighter so open those beautiful puppy dog eyes and look at me. I promise I won't be mad at you for standing me up last night, although you did miss a great meal. I made your favorite Mac and cheese with bacon bits. I even made some French bread for you. Now, I know you don't want me to cook, but I couldn't help myself. I know you were upset about your mom.

I was thinking about the first time I cooked dinner for you. It was Halloween last year. You talked me into going to the spooky phantasmagoria show. I didn't think I was going to like it, but it was fun."

"_Thanks for asking me Spencer. I really liked the show." _

"_The magic lanterns used in early Phantasmagoria were credited to Athanasius Kircher and Christiaan Huygens, in the early to mid-17th century, respectively. Kircher's device consisted of a lantern with a candle and concave mirror inside. A tube was fitted into the side of the lantern and held convex lenses at either end. Near the center of the tube, a glass slide of the image to be projected was held. Huygens' magic lantern has been described as the predecessor of today's slide projector and the forerunner of the motion picture projector. Images were hand painted onto the glass slide until the mid-19th century when photographic slides were employed. Though Huygens' magic lantern was often used for amusement by projecting quaint and pastoral imagery, phantoms, devils, and other macabre objects were also sometimes projected, thus giving rise to phantasmagoria." Reid lectured. _

"_Well I liked it very much. Are you hungry?" _

"_I think everything's closed. It's after ten Emily." _

"_I wasn't thinking of going to a restaurant. Why don't you come to my place? I have the makings of sandwiches or there's left over Mac and Cheese from the other night." _

_Reid's eyes lit up. "I love Mac and Cheese." _

"_I put bacon in it." She warned him. _

"_I love bacon too." He enthused as they turned off the road and into the parking lot at Emily's apartment. _

"_I sold my brownstone." She said as they got out of her SUV. _

"_A smart decision, "Reid began lecture mode again. "Home values have dropped thirty percent in the last three years. I think -" _

"_I know Spencer… That's why I sold out and moved." _

"_Oh right…" _

_He followed her in and up the stairs. She opened the front door and shut off the alarm. "Make yourself comfortable, while I go heat up our snack." _

"_Hey Emily…. Did you know that in the mid-18th century, in Leipzig, Germany, a coffee shop owner named Johann Schropfer began offering séances in a converted billiards room, which became so popular that by the 1760s he had transformed himself into a full-time showman, using elaborate effects including projections of ghosts to create a convincing spirit experience? In 1774, he committed suicide, apparently a victim of delusions of his own apparitions."_

A sound like a sigh and a hard swallow brought her attention back to the hospital room. She looked at Reid's face. Her heart stopped then took off racing as his eyes blinked. They opened then closed again.

"Spencer!"

She leaned in closer and kissed his cheek. "Come on baby… Wake up!"

His eyes fluttered open again. There was another click and a sigh. His eyes focused on her and he moaned.

"What? Where?"

"Spencer… Can you hear me?"

"I don't- What happened to me?" He whispered.

"Take it easy Spencer. I'm going to get the nurse." She reached over and pushed the call button, then took his right hand and squeezed it tight.

"Hurts… Oh, God what happened? It hurts so much."

"I know baby. The nurse will be here in a minute." She glanced around frantically.

Reid's fingers moved restlessly on the blanket. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital Spencer."

He turned his head and the brown eyes she loved on her. "Who are you?" He asked.


	7. Memory Loss

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Memory Loss_**

Reid's fingers moved restlessly on the blanket. "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital Spencer."

He turned his head and the brown eyes she loved on her. "Who are you?" He asked.

She froze with a smile pasted to her face the way you do when you're not sure, if someone is playing some kind of cruel practical joke, or if they are serious. He spoke through teeth wired shut due to his broken jaw. It was possible that she simply misunderstood what he wanted to say.

"Honey…."

"Who are you?" He asked again, agitation and confusion flooding his tone.

She looked into his eyes and saw that he wasn't playing a joke. He really didn't know who she was. Her heart froze in her chest, adding ice to the blood in her veins so that her entire body shivered. She sat down in the nearest chair to his bed because she didn't think her legs would hold her anymore.

"My name is Emily Prentiss. We… um -"

"Dr Reid," Karen hurried into the room. "You finally came back to us."

"What happened? Hurts," he grimaced.

"I know… I'm setting up an IV for you. Don't worry… It's not a narcotic. It's a medication called Voltaran." She directed this to Emily. "It's not addictive."

She took his vitals as Emily watched with dread building up in her stomach. Karen hurried back out of the room leaving the two of them together. Emily stared at Reid's battered face, trying to get him to make eye contact with her, but he wouldn't look at her or speak to her.

Karen finally breezed back into the room. "Here we are." She said cheerfully to Reid.

She set up the IV bag attached it to the port so it infused his left arm. "It'll kick in pretty soon." She patted his shoulder. "I'm going to get Dr. Brewster in here."

"I don't understand." Reid slurred. "Why am I here? What happened to me?"

"You don't remember." Emily's heart finally beat to beat again, but it was slow and ponderous. She felt sick and dizzy.

"I don't know how I got here." He insisted as though she were less than half-bright. "I don't want to talk to you. I don't know who you are."

He had never spoken to her in such a tone before. Her eyes pricked again. "I know you're confused but I just want to help."

"Where's Gideon?" He asked. "I want to talk to him."

She couldn't stop herself from staring at him. Gideon? He hadn't mentioned Gideon in at least a year. What the hell?

"I don't -"

"Hello Dr. Reid, I'm Dr. Brewster." His doctor entered the room with a large smile on his face. "How are you?"

"I don't know why I'm here." Reid said, but it wasn't with the petulant tone he'd used to address Emily. "I wanna know what's goin on."

She saw that he was making a concerted effort not to look at her as the doctor spoke to him. She backed away from his bedside feeling as if she'd stepped into an episode of "The Twilight Zone."

"First things first," the doctor spoke in a commanding tone. "What's your full name?"

Spencer flicked his eyes over to her. The naked confusion in his eyes and face tore at her heart. "It's Spencer James Reid." He grimaced. "When is the medicine going to work? Everything hurts."

"Yes I know, but I need you to focus just a little Spencer." The doctor called Spencer's gaze back from staring blatantly at Emily as if he wished she would leave.

"What?" He hissed through his clenched teeth. "What do you want?"

"What's your birth date?"

"How come I can't open my mouth?" Reid asked.

"Your jaws wired shut. It's broken."

"I don't understand. What happened to me?"

Dr Brewster moved closer to Spencer's right side. "What's your birth date Spencer?"

"It's October 21, 1981. God… I can't think… I'm so confused. When can I see Gideon?"

"Spencer," Dr. Brewster called his attention back again. "Who's the President of the United States?"

Reid glared at him as if he held a classroom full of little children hostage. "George W. Bush." He responded irritably.

"What year is it?" Dr. Brewster asked.

"It's 2006." Reid said with absolute certainty in his voice.

Dr. Brewster flicked his eyes over to Emily who just stood there with ice in her heart and blood. Every new revelation had her brain in turmoil.

"Spencer? Do you know who this is?" He gestured to Emily.

"No… I've never seen her before," He said his puppy eyes brushed over her without recognition then returned to the doctor. "Is she a nurse?"

"No, she's not a nurse."

"Okay, Can I see JJ now?" He asked. "She's my friend."

"Why don't I call your boss and he can see if she can visit you."

Reid's eyes lit up for the first time since he'd opened them. "Good because I have to talk Gideon too."

Dr. Brewster patted his leg. "Just get some rest Dr. Reid. We'll come back later."

He didn't have to ask Emily to follow him. She suddenly didn't want to be in that room. Everything was spinning out of control and she didn't know what to say or do.

"Why doesn't he remember me?" She hissed as soon as they left the room.

"It's appears that he's lost everything for the last four years at least. Head trauma and memory loss are funny things, you can lose a few hours, or years at a time. I was afraid of this with the injury he suffered."

She couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her face. "Will he get it back? Will he remember me and the baby?"

He looked her directly in the eyes and she trembled under his intense gaze. "I don't know. He might remember all of it in time, bits and pieces or nothing at all. We're going to do an MRI later today to determine if he has a subdural hematoma. If he does, then we can give him medication to counter the damage and hopefully that will restore his memory. For now, I want you to go home and try to get some rest."

"But Dr. Brewster I -"

"He doesn't know you." He reminded her as if he had to. "Having you in there trying to make him remember won't help him. He needs rest."

"I won't upset him." She dried her tears and snapped her spine straight. "I love him doctor. He loves me too. I just have to remind him."

"How are you going to do that?" He asked her.

She opened her mouth and realized that she didn't have the slightest idea how to go about making Spencer remember her and the last nine, perfect months of their relationship.

"I don't know, but I will think of a way." She pushed her tears away. She wouldn't give in to mood swings or hormones again, not until she had Reid back in her arms where he belonged.

Dr. Brewster smiled. "I can see you are a determined woman Agent Prentiss, but I think it would be better if you got some rest. I'm upgrading Dr. Reid to serious condition. If he continues to improve, I'll change it to good. He'll have to stay here in the ICU until we're sure we've dealt with any pressure in his brain."

"I'll go on one condition." Emily said.

"What's that?"

"You call me if anything at all changes and you let me come back in a few hours for the MRI."

"You can come back for the test, but after that I want you to go home for the night."

"Alright, I'll go. Please call Agent Hotchner for me. He and Agent Morgan are familiar to him. JJ can't be here until this evening because she has to work."

"I have all your numbers thanks to a TA Penelope Garcia. She's a very formidable woman."

Emily felt a smirk creep up her face despite the ache in her heart. "She's his best friend. She's also like a mother bear when it comes to Spencer, so be careful."

"I'll take it under advisement."

Emily walked slowly out of the ICU to the elevator. She got on her phone while waiting for the elevator. "Hi PG… Can you meet me at my place? Yes… He's a wake. No! Penelope! I really need to see you and talk you. Yes… I'll see you in about thirty minutes."

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The apartment didn't look any different to her as she shut off the alarm. _Of course it's the same… What did you think would happen?_

She dropped her bag on the entryway table and went to the kitchen. The casserole dish still stood on the counter. She just stood there staring at it. She should throw out the Mac and Cheese, and the stale bread in the basket on the table, but she couldn't make her hands or feet move.

The doorbell rang, shattering her thoughts like crystal breaking on concrete. She trudged back to the door and let Garcia into the apartment.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Is Reid okay? You said he woke up. Why aren't you there? He needs -"

"PG!"

Her friend reared back in surprise at her tone. "What's wrong?"

Emily staggered a bit, feeling all of the strength that got her out of the hospital, and to her home, leave her. Her legs felt like butter and her heart ached.

Garcia grabbed her arms and led her to the living room. She pushed her down and sat next to her. "What's happened? You're as white as a sheet."

"He doesn't remember me." Emily said in a small voice. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

She broke down and began to sob. Garcia wrapped an arm around her shoulders and held on tight.

"Don't worry… We'll jog that big brain of his. He'll remember everything including how much he loves you and the baby."

"You don't know that for sure." Emily pulled away and got up to pace again.

She rubbed her belly as she walked back and forth in front of Garcia. "Dr. Brewster said he might never regain his memory. What if he never remembers me or that he has a child on the way? We need him Garcia.

"I know you do. You have to be strong Emily. Where is that kick ass FBI agent that never lets anything get her down? You can handle anything. You're the strong one."

"I'm not that person right now." Emily shouted back. "I can't be strong for anyone right now. I've lost the love of my life. Do you understand how much that hurts? I can't be strong."

Garcia looked down at her flowered skirt. "I know what it's like to lose someone you love."

"I'm sorry for shouting at you PG. I just need some sleep I guess. I have to clean up for last night."

She looked around wondering where to start. The bright light from the noon sun penetrated around the curtains she'd drawn last night to keep out the sight of the rain. She went to one of the windows and drew back the curtains. If she could have a little sunlight then maybe hope wouldn't be far off.

"I'm going to clean up for you. You go lie down." Garcia said.

"You don't have to do that. I didn't call you over here to clean up my mess."

"I don't mind. I want you to get some rest."

Emily put out a hand and touched her friend's arm. "Will you go to the hospital when you're done?"

"I will keep you up to date on everything. At least until you go back."

Emily sighed. "I'm not sure I should go back. You didn't see him. He didn't want to see me or talk to me. I'm a total stranger. You know how he is with strangers outside of work. It takes him awhile to trust."

"Alright, I'll test the waters and let you know what's on my sweet boy's mind."

"Thank you."

"Go lie down."

Emily took her advice and kicked off her shoes. She pulled off all her clothes and climbed into bed. Her nightstand had an eye mask so she put it on and tried to sleep. She didn't think she would be able to get the memory of Spencer's beaten face out of her mind, but she fell asleep and into dreams that he was there, unmarked, healthy, and holding their baby in his arms.


	8. Little White Lie

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all... Here's the next chapter. Once again I must thank all who've reviewed, added this to their favorites, and updates._**

**_Little White Lie_**

"Where's Emily and Rossi?" Morgan asked as he met Hotch in the ICU waiting room.

"That's why I wanted to talk to you." Hotch gestured to one of the chairs against the pea-green painted wall.

"What's going on Hotch? I can see something's wrong."

"Reid's awake, but he's got amnesia." Hotch responded bluntly.

Morgan jumped to his feet and started pacing back and forth across the light beige carpet. "I can't believe this Hotch."

"Sit down Morgan." Hotch said as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"So what do the doctors say? Is he going to get his memory back? Where is the doctor? I want to talk to him."

"You know the doctor can't discuss this with us. Emily's Reid's proxy and emergency contact. That's as it should be."

Morgan sat leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. "I can't believe this. Hasn't he been through enough?"

Hotch actually smiled a bit. "Is that a rhetorical question?"

Morgan raised his head and smirked a little. "I know this is a very serious situation, but sometimes I have to laugh at Reid's bad luck. He must be on his sixth life by now."

"I'm just glad he's alive." Hotch's face returned to its scowl. "He can get through the rest."

"So why isn't Emily or Rossi here?" Morgan repeated his earlier question.

"Reid doesn't remember anything after 2006."

Morgan's eyebrows climbed his forehead. "Are you serious?"

Hotch only looked at him.

"I guess you are. I take it he doesn't remember Emily or Rossi."

"He still thinks Gideon is around. He's been asking for him. I really don't know what to tell him."

Morgan rubbed his hand over his head. "Should we tell him everything?"

"I spoke with Emily. Dr. Brewster explained to her that it was better to let Reid regain his memories on his own. We can't overwhelm him Morgan." Hotch heaved out a big sigh at Morgan's obvious irritation.

"Alright, we'll just tell him that Gideon had an emergency with his son and he's going to be out of town for a few weeks."

"I hope you're right."

"Let's just go in and see him. He needs his family around him."

"Speaking of his family… Should we tell his mother?"

Hotch shook his head. "No… She's just been through an ordeal. We'll just let Reid keep writing to her when he's able. I'll bet he'll think of something to tell her. If, he takes a bad turn, we'll tell her. I don't think that's going to happen though."

"I hope not."

"I spoke with William Reid." Hotch went on. "He wanted to come right up here, but I convinced him to stay in Las Vegas. He wasn't happy, but I explained to him that Reid had lost five years including the Riley Jenkins case and its aftermath. He finally agreed that for now, he'd stay in Las Vegas. I promised I'd call him when Reid begins to regain his memory."

"Maybe that's better," Morgan said thoughtfully. "I agree with the doctor that we shouldn't overwhelm him. He has enough to deal with right now."

Hotch clapped a hand on Morgan's shoulder. "Let's go see him and then we need to get back to work. I want this guy found."

Morgan smiled, but it wasn't a smile that made his eyes twinkle. "He's mine Hotch. When we get him, he's mine."

"I want to tell you it can't be personal, but this is as personal as it gets. I want him as much as you do. We'll take him down together."

Morgan slapped Hotch's back. "Let's go see the kid.

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"No… You can't have any coffee." Karen the nurse was telling Reid when Morgan and Hotch walked in the room.

"Why not?" The querulous tone in his voice made Morgan grin.

"You just had several major surgeries and you were in a coma. You can't drink it anyway. Your jaws wired shut"

"Please… I can use a straw."

"Reid don't tease the nice nurse."

"Hi Hotch, hello Morgan," Reid said with a pout. "They won't let me have coffee."

"You can have some when the doctor says it's okay." Hotch said going to his bedside.

"Okay… I'll wait," Reid agreed irritably.

"How's he doing?" Hotch asked Karen.

"He's doing very well, except for asking for coffee every five minutes."

Morgan laughed aloud. "It's a good thing coffee isn't illegal, or you'd be in trouble." He teased Reid.

Reid said something, but his slurred speech defeated Hotch and Morgan.

"What did you say?" Morgan asked.

"You don't want me to repeat it."

"Good one kid."

"I'll be back in to check on his later. Just buzz me if you need anything. My name's Karen."

"Thank you." Hotch said.

She smiled at Reid and left the room.

"She's really nice." Reid said, "She's worked her for six years. She said the ICU is her favorite place because… Um, well, I don't really remember why. I'm kind of tired. Where's Gideon?"

"He needed to take some time off. He had an emergency with his son."

"Oh…" Reid's face fell.

"Don't worry Reid," Morgan said going to the other side of the bed. "We're all here for you. Hotch and I can stay for a while and talk to you. How are you feeling?"

"I hurt everywhere but my hands and feet. The doctor gave me something for the pain, but it still hurts. I don't know why I can't have anything stronger. They won't tell me anything. Can you get me some coffee?"

"You've got a one track mind Reid."

"I really need it." He insisted.

"You need to get better first."

"Is JJ here? Can I see Garcia?" Reid changed the subject looking very hopeful again.

Morgan flicked his eyes over to Hotch. "They'll both come see you later. Garcia's working on finding the guy that did this to you."

Reid's eyes got huge as he remembered the reason he was lying in the hospital bed. "Why did someone beat me up? Did I do something?"

"You didn't do anything Reid." Morgan said firmly. "This isn't your fault."

"But -"

"No!" Morgan nearly shouted. "I'm sorry," he said when Reid flinched. "I didn't mean to shout at you."

"Morgan's right, this isn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I wish I could remember. The doctor said it's 2011. Is that true?"

Morgan and Hotch looked at each other again. "Yes… It's June 15 2011. It's summertime. You like summer Reid."

His young friend smiled, and it looked garish with his immobile jaw, but Morgan didn't react visibly. "You gotta get well so we can go to the beach."

"I don't wanna go to the beach." Reid argued.

"Okay kid, we'll find something else to do in the sun."

"What's the last thing you remember?" Hotch asked kindly.

"The case in Seattle, I remember coming home on the jet. We all went to dinner that night except for Gideon. He was upset over what happened with Professor Ursula Kent and Kenneth. Is he upset that I told Morgan what I said about him?"

"No, of course not Reid, he's just upset over his son." Hotch said, hoping that his lie wouldn't show in his eyes.

"Did he say when he'd be back?" Reid asked hope lightening his beautiful dark eyes.

"No, it's probably going to be a few weeks."

Reid visibly deflated. "It feels like I haven't seen him in weeks. I'd like to play a game of chess."

"It's going to be a few weeks for you to be ready for chess I'm thinking." Morgan argued. "You need to get your rest kid."

"Do you remember anything else?" Hotch asked.

"No I remember I was on my way home from dinner with you guys. I don't remember anything after that."

"We'll have you well and home in no time." Morgan assured him.

There was silence in the room for a minute as Reid went back to looking at the blanket on his bed. He hitched in his breath like he was trying to yawn and grimaced. "I'm tired."

"Okay man… Why don't you get some sleep? When you wake up, you'll have more visitors."

"Gonna go to sleep now." He said making Morgan suddenly feel like a parent with a sick little boy.

Morgan followed Hotch out of the room almost bumping into another nurse. "Sorry," she said over her shoulder.

"I don't know how much longer I can lie to him." Morgan said as they headed to the elevators. "He deserves to know the good things he has, like Emily and the baby. This must be killing her to stay away like this."

"She's not staying away. She's made up her mind to come back. I don't know what she's going to tell him."

Morgan stepped on to the elevator first and pushed the button for the first floor. "I have no doubt she'll think of something."

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Garcia's eyelids were drooping. She'd been up all night at the hospital and now she'd spent all morning trying to find this bastards face in her programs. It wasn't working though. She couldn't find anyone that looked remotely like the eyewitness accounts.

She studied the rendering the police artist had done. The man had been wearing a hooded coat, which obscured some of what the witness had seen. They'd said that the man was very large and strong. She shuddered to think what might have happened to Reid if they hadn't stopped and made a fuss.

The DC police said that they were looking for the van, but they didn't have much hope. The witnesses said that the van was dark, black or blue and they didn't catch the plate. They were more concerned with Reid and his injuries.

Garcia wiped at a tear that meandered down her cheek. She wanted to go back to the hospital and hang out with her best friend, but she also felt like she needed to stay there and find the animal that hurt him.

"Baby girl…" Morgan said from behind her.

She didn't jump because she always knew when he was behind her. "Hey Derek."

"Why no snippy comeback Garcia."

She turned in chair. "I can't Derek. I'm so scared."

She began to cry in earnest. He pulled her into his arms and held her tight. "Hotch and I just saw him. He's okay mama… In fact, he's sleeping right now. He's going to make a spectacular recovery. We'll catch the guy that did this to him and everything will be back to normal."

"I hope you're right."

He pushed her back so he could look in her eyes. "You know my man's one of the strongest people you know. He will be more than okay. He'll get his memory back, and soon he'll be a new father. He'll always have Emily. She won't give up on him."

"What if it's too much for both of them? She shouldn't have this much stress while she's pregnant."

"We'll help her through this." Morgan assured her.

He pulled her into another hug. "Now, smile for me Goddess."

She tilted up her head and smiled.

"That's my baby girl."

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Emily shifted from one side of the bed to the other. After sleeping for an hour she'd woke and could get back to dreamland. It had been difficult to sleep when Reid was away for his mother and she knew he'd be back soon. Now it was impossible to make a deal with the Sandman knowing that it may be weeks or months before Spencer was back sleeping in her arms.

She pulled her eye shield off her face and sat up. It was ridiculous to try to sleep in the middle of the day without her sweet man. The bed felt big, empty, and cold. She pushed her hands through her hair. She decided to take a shower and then… Well, she didn't know what to do after that. Right now, the only thing she could do was take her next breath and then the one after that.

She walked into the bathroom and stared at her red-rimmed eyes in the mirror, "One step at a time Emily Prentiss. That's your life until Spencer remembers you. He will remember you and the baby. You'll be together and live happily ever after just like a story in a book."

She nodded to her reflection, straightened her shoulders and burst into ragged tears.


	9. The Confusion of Memory

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n here's the next chapter. Thank you all for your support. I have to give a huge shout out to my beta REIDFANATIC for all of her help with the medical side of this story. Please Enjoy!_**

**_The Confusion of Memory _**

JJ's phone began to beep as she left her office. She cursed under her breath and answered. "Jareau!"

"_JJ…" _

She stopped in the middle of the nearly empty hall. "Emily? What's wrong?"

Then she cursed again, in her head this time, for asking the stupidest question ever.

"_I want to go see Spencer, but I don't know what to say to him. Hotch told me he's been asking for you. Maybe we can go together." _

JJ sighed. She couldn't say no to the hopeful tone in Emily's voice. "I can't get away from here for at least an hour."

"_That's okay. Dr. Brewster made me promise I wouldn't go back at all today."_

"Then you should listen to him Em. You need your rest." She dashed back into her office and shut the door. "Look, I know how much you love him. I'm glad he has you in his life, but you need to get rest, for your sake and the baby."

"_Everyone keeps telling me that. I can't rest JJ. I tried to lie down and sleep, but I couldn't sleep for more than an hour. Every time I try, I see his face the way he looked before someone beat him to within an inch of his life. I see his eyes and the way he used to look at me. I have to see that again, not a battered, black and blue face with eyes that go blank when they look at me." _

"Alright, I'll pick you up in two hours. Please try to stay off your feet until I get there."

"_I promise." _

"I've really got to go Emily. I'm already late."

"_I'll see you in a few hours." _

JJ slapped her phone shut, glanced at her watch and rushed out of her office for the elevator.

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Reid was lying with his upper body raised to help his breathing against his taped ribs. He'd finished his liquid lunch an hour ago. He'd had breakfast and lunch in liquid form. He was already getting tired of fruit juice, water, and milk. They'd included tomato soup with his glass of milk for lunch, but he didn't want it. He wanted a cup of coffee and something more interesting to eat like a slice of apple pie, or even Chinese takeout as long as it didn't involve the use of chop sticks. He sighed and looked at his hands. He couldn't eat any of those things with his jaw wired shut for the next six weeks.

His head felt fuzzy. He conjectured that it might be the pain medication. He couldn't think straight, and he wondered about the beautiful dark haired woman who'd been there when he'd woken from the coma. He tried to remember her, but he couldn't make his mind focus. It kept slipping back to Gideon and losing Elle.

He sighed again and cursed himself for being intentionally stupid. It wasn't the medicine. They wouldn't give him heavy-duty drugs to fog his brain and give him an excuse for confusion. He knew the reasons for his muddled brain. They told him it was five years later, but he couldn't make himself believe it. He knew that brain injury made almost everything possible, but he couldn't quite wrap his mind around it.

_Right, because this has never happened to you before now. What did you expect?_

He decided to quit trying to figure out why he felt about Emily the way he did and concentrate on something else like trying to remember why someone would try to hurt him.

"Hey Spence…" He looked up to see the person he most wanted to see standing in the doorway, but she wasn't there alone. The dark haired woman called Emily was there. His heart sank. He didn't want strangers there.

"Hi JJ, I thought you'd be coming alone."

He didn't see the hurt leap into Emily's eyes because he was staring at JJ.

"I brought Emily with me because she wanted to see you again." JJ said taking one of the chairs that was supposed to be comfortable, but were not what they appeared.

"Why?" He asked, ignoring Emily.

"Because Emily's our teammate, she took Elle's place."

"We don't need another profiler on the team." He argued.

He didn't acknowledge Emily sitting in the second chair. He smiled at JJ instead.

"Don't be rude Spence. Emily's a great profiler. You should know… You've worked with her for nearly four years."

"I don't remember any of that." He said irritably. "I just want to talk to you. Can't you make her leave?"

"Um… Maybe I should just go." Emily said. He didn't look at her even though he could hear the upset in her voice.

The chair scraped back as she got to her feet.

"You and I are going to have words after I talk to Emily." JJ promised him.

Why was she so angry with him? He was just telling the truth. They said that honesty was the best policy. So how could she be mad at him for being honest that he didn't like Emily?

_You don't know her. How can you like her?_

He smiled at the narrowed eyed scowl JJ gave him as she walked out the door. Her heels seemed to have an extra loud clip too.

"What did I do wrong?" He wondered a loud.

He shifted on his bed, wincing and groaning as he tried to turn on his side. He hurt, he didn't know what was going on and now JJ was pissed at him. "Someone tell me what's going on." He whispered.

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"Emily… Wait!"

JJ chased her friend down the long white walled hallway. Emily could move fast, even pregnant, when she wanted.

"I saw how he looked at you JJ."

"You're being completely irrational Emily." JJ grabbed Emily's arm to stop her from pressing the button for the elevator.

"I'm not irrational. He doesn't remember me. He doesn't love me. He's in love with you." She almost shouted.

"That's ridiculous Emily. Spence never -"

One of the elevators opened and a family of four stepped out. The two boys shoved at each other as they passed JJ and Emily.

"Stop it right now!" Their mother said.

"Do you want to go back out to the car?" The father asked calmly.

Instantly the boys stopped shoving at each other. "No," they said in unison.

They passed by and headed the way JJ and Emily had come from Reid's room. JJ waited until they were gone. "Emily… Reid still thinks its five years ago. He's confused and. -"

"He's back to thinking he's got feelings for you." Emily pushed. "I'm not going to stick around and watch it."

"You're being completely unreasonable."

Emily punched the button for the elevator closet to where they stood. "I'm sorry if I'm not strong enough to handle this up to your standards."

"Emily, I'm not trying to say -"

"Please just go away. Go back to your precious Spence. He only wants to see you anyway."

The elevator arrived and JJ tried to follow her onto the empty car.

"No, I want to be alone." Emily snapped.

JJ stepped off and watched the doors close on Emily's tear filled face. She'd never seen Emily cry so much or speak with so much hopelessness in her eyes. She turned on her heel and hurried back to Reid's room. It was too bad that he was hurt. She was going to give him a piece of her mind, pain or no pain.

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Emily realized when she left the hospital that she didn't have her car as she'd caught a ride with JJ. She almost turned around and went back through the double sliding glass doors. No… She wasn't going to sit in a waiting room while Spencer made puppy dog eyes at JJ.

"You're being ridiculous." She said to herself. "JJ is right! He doesn't remember you. The pain and confusion are making him say things he'd never say in his right mind."

She should go back inside and go up to Reid's room. She should sit next to his bedside and play the patient girlfriend who forgave her man anything. In fact, if this were a cheap novel or a movie, that's exactly what the writer would make her character do. This wasn't fantasy, she reminded herself irritably as she stood in the early evening summer sunlight. This was reality and real life. She had a right to be angry and irrational. She wasn't going to pretend that it was close to being okay.

A woman dressed in traditional eastern Indian garb passed by her looking like she didn't quite know where she was. Her gentle dark eyes swept over Emily.

"Excuse me… Do you know which way to the maternity ward?" She asked in a lilting voice that went up and down.

Her peach colored sari flapped a little in the breeze that had come up in the last few minutes. Emily found that she couldn't speak, even though politeness demanded that she answer the question. The woman gave her a look and hurried through the double doors. Well… She couldn't expect Emily to know everything about the hospital.

Emily put one hand on her baby belly. "I'm sorry about all of this little one. We might be on our own for a long time."

A gentle kick to her ribs had tears welling up in her eyes. Reid should be there with her, feeling his baby move. She pulled out her phone and called for a cab. She had to get away from here and she knew exactly where to go.

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"Alright Spencer Reid…" JJ entered his room at a pace that reminded him of the days when she had to coordinate press conferences for them. "What's the matter with you, and don't tell me you don't remember anything. That was f-ing rude and you know it."

His eyebrows went up. He'd never heard her use that word. "I didn't -" He started to say in his clenched teeth way that was sometimes hard to understand.

"You hurt her feelings Reid. She's your friend."

"I don't remember her. Anyway… She's pregnant. Why is she spending all her time here when she should be with her husband, or boyfriend or whatever?"

He was astonished to see the anger in JJ's blue eyes and the way she crossed her arms over her chest. He heard her foot tapping like he was a naughty little boy in a classroom.

"What am I going to do with you Reid?" She finally sat down next to him. "I'm sorry I jumped down your throat. I know this is completely overwhelming for you. I just want to help you. Your friends, including Emily just want to be here for you."

He could smell the same floral perfume she always wore that he liked. Her blue eyes always reminded him of the sky after a storm.

"You have beautiful eyes JJ." He said, ignoring her lecture.

"Look Spence I need to tell you something. I know you've been overloaded with so much, but I have to explain something very important."

She'd rested a hand on top of one of his hands and he flinched at the contact. Something flashed through his brain like one scene in a movie he'd never watched, but somehow recognized.

_He was sitting there reviewing a file when JJ said. "Oh… He's really kicking today._

_He glanced up to see she was very pregnant and he heard himself say, "In the third trimester there's an average of thirty fetal movements per hour. Babies kick to explore movement and strengthen muscles."_

_She looked at him with the kind of exasperation he was used to when he spouted off that way. She said. "Have you ever felt a baby kick?"_

_He said no and she grabbed his hand, putting in on her baby bump. He felt something tap the palm of his hand and he tried to pull away. "You feel that?"_

"_Yes… Doesn't that freak you out?" He asked. _

"_No, not at all… Does it freak you out?" She threw his words back at him. _

"_Yes… Very much so…" _

"Spence… Hey Spencer! What's wrong?"

He snapped out of the - well he didn't know what it was - he guessed it was a memory and looked up at her. Did that mean that JJ had a baby? If it did, then who was the father?


	10. The Truth Hurts

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all... I hope you'll all forgive me for the delay in updating. I've had a pretty nasty cold for the last week. I'm finally feeling a little better today. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter._**

**_The Truth Hurts_**

Emily's cab stopped next to Maple Wood Park near Spencer's old apartment. He liked to spend time there still, and play chess with a young boy named Eric. The boy was a bit of a chess prodigy. Emily liked him despite the fact that because he was a young boy, he teased Spencer about her. It was funny to hear the kid sing the song that Reid hadn't known from childhood, but now he understood it.

The first time she had met Eric, he'd beat Spencer because other kids noticing her and kidding him about it distracted her sweet man.

"_Does she play chess too?" Eric asked with a smirk in her direction. _

"_What? Oh, um yeah, she does." Spencer squeaked. _

_She sat on the edge of one of the benches and watched him with twinkling eyes as his hands gestured restlessly._

"_Is that why you haven't been around again?" Eric asked bluntly. _

_She liked this kid, Emily decided. _

"_Well, um no I've been busy, and well I just, um…" _

"_Yeah I can see that." Eric flicked his eyes over to Emily and smiled broadly. "I see checkmate in five moves." He informed Spencer. _

"_But I -" Spencer looked down at the board and something like chagrin passed over his angel's face. _

_She rarely got to see him look like that so it made her giggle. He turned and pinned her with a stare that had her laughing outright. _

"_Emily and Spencer sittin' in a tree K I S S I N G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Spencer with the baby carriage." Eric sang. _

_Some of the kids and their parents began to laugh. Spencer went crimson. Emily knew she should defend him but it was about time he experienced a little something from his deprived childhood. _

"_Well… He is right about one thing." Emily touched her belly that had just begun to swell and winked at Spencer._

"_Yeah… Um, well, I think we need to play again." Spencer directed this at Eric._

_Eric sat back with his arms folded over his chest smirking at them. "I think we'll save the rematch for another day." _

"_But I want -" Spencer began. _

"_Sorry Dr Reid… Eric and I have to go now," interrupted a pretty woman with long black hair and a big smile on her face. _

_Reid glanced from Eric, to Tammy, Eric's mother, to Emily, as though suspecting a set up, but not sure, if he could accuse any of them of such treachery. _

"_Come on Spencer… Let's take a walk around the park before we need to get back." Emily reached out for his hand. _

She blinked her eyes and saw that she was back in the present; the present that meant that, she was without Spencer. A present that meant he thought he was in love with JJ. Suddenly the urge to laugh was overwhelming. She sat on the edge of that very same bench and laughed until her ribs hurt. It felt good to laugh even if she didn't know why.

"Emily?"

Tammy sat down next to her. "How are you?" She asked warily.

Emily looked at the woman with coffee colored skin and kind eyes. She was very small, but she radiated the kind of strength that seemed to come so easily to some people. "I don't know…" Emily said, trying to keep back more tears.

"What's wrong?" Tammy asked.

Emily glanced down at the green grass and the concrete walkway. If she didn't say it aloud to Tammy, then maybe she could say that it was a dream.

Tammy didn't say anything. She just sat there waiting with a serene face. She looked like someone waiting for big news, but with infinite patience.

"Spencer's in the hospital." Emily finally said.

Funny how you got used to giving this kind of news to other people, but you couldn't quite make it real in your own head.

"What happened?" Tammy asked urgently.

"His car broke down on the side of the road last night. He was attacked and beaten up. Oh Tammy, he doesn't act like himself anymore."

"How is he?" Tammy asked laying a hand on Emily's arm. "What can I do for you?"

"He was in a coma for the night, but he woke up this morning. He doesn't remember me."

Tammy's hand had been stroking up and down the length of her arm. Now her hand stopped dead. "Are you kidding me?" She said.

"I only wish I were."

"I'm so sorry Emily. Is he going to be okay?"

"I - um I don't really know. The doctor says that he'll recover physically, but he might not regain his memory, or maybe only part of it will come back."

Tammy nodded her head. "Now tell me what you're leaving out." She asked shrewdly.

"That's pretty much all there is to tell." Emily evaded.

She decided to look at the walkway instead of in Tammy's eyes, because the tears would start again.

"Come on… I know there's something more. You'll feel better if you talk to someone outside your team."

Emily studied the ground, watching as a lone black ant crawled along the grey concrete. She watched it march away to a small ant pile several feet down the walkway. It had a purpose. It knew where it was going. She thought she had a purpose at one time, but now it was all twisted up and confused.

"I went to visit him with JJ. You remember Spencer talking about her. She left the unit recently."

Tammy nodded. "Yeah… As I recall it was against everyone's wishes that she left."

"Yes, it was very hard on Spencer. They were, or I should say are, very good friends. Spencer is her son Henry's godfather. So when Spencer woke up he asked for Gideon and JJ."

"Isn't Gideon the one that left the unit and didn't say goodbye. He left Spencer a note I think."

"Yes… It was very hard on Spencer. We had to lie and tell him that Gideon's away on a family emergency. He thinks JJ still works at the BAU."

"I notice you keep mentioning JJ." Tammy prodded.

Emily returned her gaze to the concrete sidewalk and three more ants making their way to their home. She noticed that one of them was carrying a crumb of something she thought might be bread. Reid told her once that ants could carry many times their weight.

"Emily…"

"He woke up thinking that it's 2006. We told him the date, but…" She stopped again and drew in a deep breath of air perfumed with summer flowers and freshly cut grass. "In 2006, he had a crush on JJ."

"Oh, so he's confused… He thinks he has feelings for her and he doesn't know you."

"Yeah…

"Emily… He just woke up from a coma. I assume he's taking heavy-duty drugs and he's confused. He's been beaten and had surgery."

"I tried to blame it on the drugs, but he's not on narcotics. It's a drug like Tylenol only stronger. I can't blame it on that."

"Then just blame it on everything else he's been through. He is confused Emily. I'm sure he'll work through it. You have to go back and help him. He needs you and you need him. Just be patient."

"Are you sure you've never taken profiling classes?" Emily eyed her suspiciously.

Tammy laughed, crinkling her eyes up against the noonday sun. "I'm a mother." She said as an explanation. "You'll see what I mean." She pointed at Emily's baby belly.

A breeze came up and ruffled their hair as they both watched people walk by instead of more ants. Two retired men took their places at one of the tables and began to play chess. She blinked her eyes and tried to imaging Spencer there with Eric instead of lying in the hospital.

"Why are you still here?" Tammy asked. "Go back to the hospital. He will come back to you."

Emily stood up. "Then I guess I better call another cab."

CMCMCMCM

JJ let go of Reid's hand when he jolted out of whatever had captured his attention for a few moments. The look on his face reminded her of every other time he had gone on emotional overload. "What's wrong Spencer?"

"I don't -" He stopped, unable to complete a sentence it seemed to her.

It was strange to see Reid without the ability to finish his thoughts. Usually, they had to stop him from going on and on.

"Tell me…" She encouraged firmly.

"I think I remembered something, but it was really strange."

"Tell me what you remembered." Her heart began to race with excitement.

"You were pregnant." He blurted out, and then turned cherry red.

"Yes…" She nodded. "That's right… I - um… What else did you remember?"

"Um," He looked up at the white tile ceiling instead of at her. "Well, you wanted me to feel the baby kick. I said it freaked me out."

"Oh yeah… I remember that. You're the only person I ever met that thought feeling a baby kick was weird."

"That's all I remember." He was looking at the window now.

"Then why won't you look at me."

He slid his eyes over her face and back to his hands. She wanted to yell in exasperation, so she called on all the patience she used when dealing with the hostile fourth estate.

"Spence… I'm your friend right."

"Yeah…"

"You can trust me right?"

He lifted his eyes to her face. It was so strange to see his eyes looking up at her surrounded by all the bruising of his beating. He reminded her of a small child.

"I don't understand JJ. I'm so confused. You don't have a husband so I don't understand how you have a baby."

"Spence… I have a fiancé. I met him in New Orleans on a case in 2007. He was a police detective there. We have a little boy named Henry. You're his god father."

"Oh…"

She saw a solitary tear roll down his face and she suddenly realized why he'd been so confused. She felt heat rise to her face, but she made her feet stay there even though she wanted to walk away until her face cooled.

"His name is Will LaMontagne. He's a great guy. You and he are friends too." She said.

"I'm sorry JJ I thought that maybe -"

"You were beat up, had multiple surgeries and you were in a coma. You lost five years of your life. It's no wonder you're confused."

He looked up at her and nodded his head. "Yeah… I guess you're right. Um, JJ I'm sorry if I -"

"It's okay Spence," She interrupted. "You don't have to explain. I do love you." She smiled.

"Me too," He said. "I'm kind of tired." He said after a minute.

"I'll leave you alone." She patted his hand. "I'll see you later."

He waited until she left before he let more tears fall from his eyes and wondered when he'd feel normal again.


	11. Cravings

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n here's the next chapter kiddies. Please enjoy. _**

**_Cravings_**

Reid opened his eyes once he was sure that JJ was gone. He couldn't stand to look into her eyes and know that somewhere in the gap that was his memory, he'd learned to live without her, that he'd let go of his crush. It was strange, but there was something that told him it was okay. He didn't know what that thing might be. He didn't like relying on feelings. He liked facts and statistics.

He tried to turn over to his right side, but the pain was excruciating when he moved. Why wouldn't they give him something stronger then the Voltaren? He knew that was an NSAID pain reliever, not a narcotic. He knew the extent of his injuries because Dr. Brewster had told him.

He shifted again and more pain radiated from his broken ribs. It even hurt to breathe. Tears collected in his eyes and he groaned. God, how he wanted something to take the edge of the pain. Maybe if he asked Dr. Brewster or one of the nurses, then he could have something like Morphine or Dilaudid.

_Dilaudid!_

The word seemed to hang in his head like a balloon filled with helium. He shivered and coughed, groaning against a fresh wave of pain. He found the idea of a drug like Dilaudid filled him with an intense longing like a craving for very sweet coffee, only stronger. He wanted it more than he wanted the coffee and that filled him with dread.

_Why?_

He'd never had Dilaudid in his life. He knew what it was because he'd read and memorized many medical texts including the latest PDR. Perhaps they didn't want to give him a narcotic because of his head injury. He knew that Dilaudid was dangerous because it suppressed breathing.

Now that he couldn't move without excruciating pain, he was suddenly overcome with the urge to turn over. His back was tired. He needed to move even if it hurt. He turned to the left, breathing hard which added to the pain. Sweat popped out on his forehead with the effort, but at least he felt more comfortable off his back. If he thought about something else maybe he could make the pain go away and the uncomfortable sensation in the pit of his stomach whenever he thought about narcotic drugs.

He looked at the blind covered windows for a long time, trying to imagine what might be going on outside the hospital. He sighed and began to wish that JJ or Hotch, or even that Agent Prentiss might come back to see him. He needed to talk to someone and forget about the itching sensation in his hands at the thought of narcotic drugs.

Okay… so his memory was gone for five years, but he still knew who he was. He was a genius with an eidetic memory. He just needed to think of something like a book he'd read and re-read it in his head for entertainment. Yes… That was a good idea. He found that the first book he thought of was Journey to the Center of the Earth, though he didn't know why. He decided not to question his subconscious choice and just enjoy the story.

He finished half the book when he needed to turn back over to his back. Thinking about a book he'd first read when he was a small child wasn't doing much to block the disquiet in his heart about the intense longing for something. He wished he knew what it was.

He picked up the call button for the nurse. He was going to get her in there and she could tell him why they wouldn't give him anything stronger for the pain. He was about to push the button when someone entered the room.

"Hello Dr. Reid."

A black man, with a medium build and a baldhead like Morgan strolled into the room. He smiled as he checked monitors and IV drips.

"My name is Arnold. Karen left for the day and I'm on until midnight."

"Hi Arnold."

"You don't look too happy. What's wrong?"

"I'm in pain, that's what's wrong. The medicine isn't working."

Arnold patted his hand like an indulgent parent. "Dr. Brewster's got you scheduled for an MRI in two hours. You can ask him after the test."

"Why are you putting me off?" Reid asked as the nurse rearranged his blankets.

Arnold only laughed. "Don't worry Dr. Reid. Dr. Brewster will explain it all to you. He wants to see if you have a hematoma on the brain. It there is bleeding, it's very serious and we need to get it stopped. If that's the case, then the pressure could be causing your memory loss."

Reid felt something like a bubble of pressure break in his chest. "You think I'd get my memory back if you stop the pressure."

"It's possible, but don't get your hopes up." Arnold wagged a finger at him. "We have to see what's going on in that brain of yours before we know for sure."

Reid struggled over to his back. "I'm tired of lying here." He complained.

Arnold smiled again, which lit up his dark eyes. "I came in here because Dr. Brewster wants you to sit up and breathe. I'll help you sit and then I'll show you the exercises he wants you to do. Then we are going to take a walk."

"I don't think I can walk." Reid complained.

"We're taking it slow. I don't think you're ready for a marathon just yet."

Reid narrowed his eyes at this way too cheerful taskmaster. Arnold laughed and gestured in a come on motion. "Grab on to me."

Reid reached up and let Arnold grasp him under his arms. The unfamiliar movement had pain screaming through his broken ribs. His abdomen ached too. Tears sprang up in his eyes but he held them back. He grunted, trying not to groan or cry out.

Arnold put an arm around his back and held him up while Reid swung his legs around. Pain, in radiating waves washed all through his body. He gasped out and coughed which made the piercing stabs of pain worse. "I can't -"

"Almost there," Arnold said.

He finally found himself sitting on the edge of the bed. Arnold picked up one of his pillows and told him to hug it. "I want you to breathe in as deep as you can and then cough. It's going to hurt, but it will help you breath better.

Reid steadied himself for more pain. He breathed in as deep as he could which triggered a cough, which led to more excruciating pain.

"Again," Arnold said.

"I can't… It hurts too much."

"Yes you can."

Reid breathed in again and it was like breathing in glass. He clutched the pillow tighter, which seemed to help a little and coughed.

"Three more times and then we'll rest a bit before you walk." Arnold said.

He got through it by thinking about JJ's deep blue eyes. He couldn't help it. It didn't matter that she was going to marry someone else or that five years had passed since he'd had a huge crush on her. It was like yesterday and he'd use it if it worked.

Arnold clapped him lightly on one of his uninjured shoulders. "That's good. We'll do more after you've had your MRI.

"That's something to look forward to." Reid said.

Arnold didn't acknowledge the sarcasm. He cajoled Reid into a standing position instead. He had Reid take charge of one of the IV poles, while he walked at Reid's right side in case he slipped. He helped Reid put on a robe someone had brought for him and some slippers.

It was strange to be up and around. He felt a little dizzy and weak standing. It hurt to breathe, but it wasn't nearly as painful as lying down. He stepped forward, finding that he could walk with little pain. He didn't have any broken bones in his legs or feet, although his left knee hurt a little. Weird… The doctor hadn't mentioned the injury, but maybe it was just a sprain.

Arnold stayed near him encouraging every shuffling step out of the room and down the hall. There were people in the hallway, nurses in pink or blue scrubs, doctors in white coats and others that Reid decided were visiting others in his ward. He noticed that some of the people looked at him with open curiosity. Well… He knew his face looked like someone had run him over, but it wasn't that bad, was it?

"Just down to that doorway and then we'll go back." Arnold said.

"Good… I kind of have to go to the bathroom."

"You have a catheter. The doc said if we get you up on your feet it could be removed."

Reid felt his face heat up and was grateful for the bruising so no one could see it. How many more indignities did he have to face before they said he could go home?

Arnold raised the back of his bed so that Reid was in a sitting position after they finished their walk and bathroom trip. "You'll be sore, but sitting up will help with your breathing."

Reid took in an experimental breath. It did hurt, but he found that it was better sitting up to breath. He didn't feel so tired just lying there. He also felt better walking around. He decided not to tell Arnold though. It was childish, but he didn't want to admit that the pain of getting up was helpful.

"I'll be back in an hour to get you ready for your MRI."

He watched the blue scrubs clad man walk out of the room and wished he had someone to talk to or Gideon there to play chess with him. He lay back on his pillows and looked up at the ceiling. He'd count the tiles instead.

CMCMCMCM

Garcia, Rossi and Emily all stepped off the elevator together. They found Reid's room just down the hall through another large wooden door that swung closed behind them with a click.

Garcia went in first with a star shaped get-well balloon and a stack of books. Reid's eyes lit up when he saw her. "Hey sweet cheeks, they got you sitting up. How do you feel?"

"I'm bored and they won't give me anything stronger for the pain." He pouted.

"I have something here that'll cheer you right up."

Reid smiled. "Did you bring coffee?"

"No, I brought friends and books for you to read."

Reid looked over at where Emily and Rossi stood near the door to his room. He frowned and confronted Garcia. "They're not my friends." He declared.

"Of course they are."

"Dr Reid, I'm David Rossi." Rossi stepped forward, but didn't extend his hand. "I know all of this is very confusing for you. I spoke with Hotch and he agreed that we needed to tell you the truth about Gideon."

"What?" Reid's eyes went huge. "Did something happen to him?"

"No… It's just that he retired almost four years ago and I took over for him. I'm sorry we lied, but we didn't want to lay all of that on you right away."

"Oh… Well, is he still in Virginia?"

"No, he left the area. He's traveling. We haven't seen him since he left." Garcia cut in. "Don't worry sweet cheeks. I've been monitoring him in my own way. He's fine."

Tears swam into Reid's eyes. He didn't say anything for a long time. "We're sorry Reid," Garcia said again. "We didn't want to hurt you, but it was better than making you think he'd come see you."

"It's okay…"

_Everything was spiraling out of control. When was it going to end?_

He took a deep breath, coughed and endured Garcia declaring that she was going to go get the nurse or a doctor before Rossi said, "Kitten, the man's fine. Settle down."

Reid watched them talk to each other and saw that Rossi wasn't a stranger to the team. He'd been around awhile because Garcia and Agent Prentiss seemed to like and respect him. Then he remembered just who David Rossi was and felt a smile cross his lips.

For the first time in the long day he forgot about the pain he'd been feeling. "You're David Rossi," He exclaimed. "You're one of the first profilers to form the BAU. You've written several bestselling books on profiling and on some of the cases you worked.

"Yeah Reid, that's me."

"Sweet," Reid said through his clenched jaw.

Rossi smiled, Garcia and Emily laughed and Reid managed a little laugh before the pain reared its head again. "Agent Rossi," he asked after coughing a little. "Can I ask you about the chapter on satanic cults on your third book?"


	12. Intercranial Pressure

**_Disclaimer: see my profile _**

**_Intercranial Pressure_**

Emily and the rest of the team gathered in Reid's room when Dr. Brewster came in to give him the results of his MRI. Emily stayed at his side but he didn't seem to resent her there as much as he had that morning.

"I've got the results of your tests." Dr. Brewster directed his comments to Reid.

Emily jumped a little when Reid reached for her hand and squeezed it. She swallowed hard and just managed to keep her eyes from flicking in his direction.

"The blows to your head caused a subdural hematoma on the brain."

"My brain is bleeding." Reid squeaked fearfully. He squeezed Emily's hand so hard it hurt, but she didn't try to pull away.

"There is significant swelling causing pressure on your brain. It's very dangerous because the skull isn't as forgiving as muscle or skin. The blood is trapped in there with no place to go. We need to stop the bleeding and allow the brain to reabsorb it. I believe the swelling and pressure is causing your memory loss. I'm going to start you on an IV drug called Mannitol. It will relieve the pressure on your brain by shrinking it."

"Just what we've all wanted to do at one time or another, shrink that big brain of yours." Morgan quipped.

Everyone one laughed except for Reid who said irritably. "Just because I have a higher IQ doesn't mean my brain is bigger."

"He's right," Dr. Brewster agreed. "Intelligence has nothing to do with the size of your brain. Technically, Mannitol doesn't shrink the brain. It's a very potent diuretic that pulls fluid from the brain decreasing the brain size until the hematoma has corrected itself."

He winked at Reid, who looked like he was trying to smile, but couldn't manage it with his jaw wired shut.

"I'd like to do a special memory test Dr. Reid."

"What kind of test." Morgan asked.

"I want to make sure your eidetic memory is intact."

"How?" Reid asked.

"I'd like for you to read something and then recite it back to me."

"Good, because I brought a stack of books for him," Garcia said.

She picked out a book and handed it to Reid. He let go of Emily's hand and took the book. He turned it over and stared up at Garcia. "Twilight?"

"JJ told me that you'd never had the pleasure of acquaintance with Edward, Bella and the Cullen clan. You poor deprived man." She clucked her tongue in disapproval.

"How much do you want me to read?"

"Just the first chapter."

He opened the book and zipped through the first chapter in less than ten seconds."

Dr. Brewster's eyes widened as he read. "No one told me you could speed read as well."

"I read 20 thousand words per minute." Reid informed him helpfully.

The others laughed as he set aside the book, "So what now."

"Now recite back what you just read. I know it's difficult for you to talk so just the first page for now."

Reid recited back the first page word perfect.

"It's good to know you didn't damage that impressive brain." Morgan said.

"What now?" Reid wondered aloud while ignoring his friend.

"I want to see how your memory stands up to time. Most people can recall something they've read right after they finish a book or papers for work, but that ability goes down in time. You should be able to recall everything you just read in twelve hours with your unique memory. We'll test you again in the morning. Then we'll know if there's more damage than just part of your long term memory."

"Can I have something stronger for the pain?" Reid asked.

Dr. Brewster sighed. "I don't want your brain in a fog right now Dr. Reid. In the morning, I have a colleague coming in that specializes in pain management that doesn't involve drugs. Until I'm sure the Mannitol is working, I want you alert and clear."

"How am I going to sleep?" Reid whined. "Can I have a sedative?"

"No… We'll have to wake you every couple of hours and do neuro checks for a couple of days. If you keep improving we'll give you something to help you sleep."

"Don't worry baby cakes." Garcia squeezed his hand. "You're going to heal very fast and before you know it you'll be able to go home. I'll stay here and tell you some stories if you want."

"Yeah…." He nodded. "I'd like it if you stayed."

"Morgan and I will be back with Hotch tomorrow afternoon. We can't spend too much time here because Strauss is on the warpath again."

Reid tried for a frown this time. "I remember her."

Rossi patted his leg. "Don't worry about her. I can handle her."

"I'll be back to see you again in the morning." Dr. Brewster said.

"Tell Hotch I'm sorry." Reid said after Rossi and Morgan left. He directed it to Emily who sat to one side of his bed, "When you see him."

"You didn't do anything." She said.

"I must have done something to set that guy off." Reid said. "I wish I could remember." He hissed out angrily.

"You didn't do anything." Garcia argued.

She reached over and gently hugged him. "The guy's a psycho and we're going to find him."

Reid didn't say anything for a long time. Emily flinched again when he reached over again and took her hand. She didn't move, afraid that he might realize that for the second time in less than an hour, that he'd touched her of his own free will.

Garcia flicked a glance over Reid's head. Emily shook her head no at her friend's unspoken question.

"Hey Reid… What kind of story do you want to hear?"

"Tell me more about Rossi. Is he as good as his books?"

Emily rolled her eyes at the hero worship in Reid's eyes and tone. It was as if the last three and a half years hadn't happened.

"Well… There was this one case with the brother of William Grace."

"We had a case with the brother of William Grace?"

The enthusiasm in his voice was clearly apparent despite the slur due to his wired jaw.

"I want to hear all about that."

Garcia told the story from her point of view, making sure to embellish it especially around the end when Rossi tricked Henry Grace into confessing. His eyes were big like an excited child at Christmas by the time she finished.

"Wow… So he thought he'd be able to kill all of us. That's so cool."

Emily wanted to punch him in the shoulder. "Why do you think it's cool? We could've got caught in one of his traps."

He looked over at her and she saw that most of the confusion and dislike she'd seen in his eyes was gone. He seemed to understand that things had changed, even though he was out of step with the march of time.

"I just think it's incredible the way the human mind works." He explained. "William Grace was a psychopath but all accounts show Henry was a normal guy with a fiancée till his brother was caught and his fiancée dumped him. Then he had a psychotic break and started killing. It's fascinating because we could all be right on the edge like Henry Grace."

"Well that's a lovely and encouraging thought sweet cheeks. Why don't you get some sleep while you can?"

He nodded and took a deep breath that made him grimace and cough. "I can't even yawn." He complained.

"Come on, lie back and get some rest." Garcia pulled his blanket up around his chest.

Emily let go of his hand with some reluctance. "I'm going to go now." She said. "I'll come back to see you tomorrow."

She helped Garcia tuck him in like a little boy.

"Can you stay here for just a minute?" He asked, looking very hopeful at her.

Her heart nearly stopped in its tracks then sped up so fast she felt a little faint. "Of course…"

"See you later Reid." Garcia waved at him. Garcia had shut off the light in the room, leaving only the yellow light over his bed shining down on Reid. It formed a halo around his head that somehow negated the ugliness of his bruised and battered face.

"So… What did you want to say to me?" Emily asked and jerked when the baby nudged her.

"What's wrong?" Reid asked.

She grinned at him. He was just as observant with head trauma and memory loss, as he was completely healthy. It was kind of scary.

"Ou - um I mean, my baby just nudged me a little."

"Oh, how far a long are you?"

"I'm six months."

"Does it feel weird?" He asked thinking about JJ letting him touch her stomach.

"No… Not at all. I love it."

He didn't speak again, just studied her. She recognized him trying to process new data and come to a decision. "Um… Would you mind if I felt the baby?"

"Well, it's not very strong yet, but you can try."

She bit her bottom lip so she wouldn't cry at his request. If only she could be honest, but it wasn't the right time. She reached for his hand and placed it on her stomach. Her heart started to race again as he waited. The baby was in the mood to be obliging because it nudged again.

"Wow… That was neat." Reid said.

"JJ told me you thought feeling her baby kick was freaky."

"I did… It's kind of weird that it's different." He said, and suspicion flooded his eyes as he looked up at her.

"Well maybe because you're Henry's godfather it's different now." She prevaricated frantically before he stumbled on the truth. "Oh sorry… I forgot we're not supposed to spring things on you. You and Garcia are Henry's Godparents."

He frowned a little. "JJ already told me about Henry." He finally said. "I don't know what difference it makes, because kids don't like me."

"Henry loves you." Emily assured him. "You and he get along famously."

"We do?" She could tell from his tone that he didn't believe her.

"Yeah… In fact, you're supposed to have a play date with Henry and Garcia next week. Now you'll have to wait till you're better."

He mulled it over, but didn't get that frightened, cornered look, she'd seen when he'd been confronted with kids before Henry was born.

"I'm tired," He said.

"I'll leave you alone. Get some sleep before the nurses come in to wake you up."

He looked like he had something else to say or ask her, but he didn't voice his thoughts to her. She almost asked him what he was thinking, but something kept her from speaking.

"I'll see you later." She said, breaking the silence like a hammer strike to a picture window.

He nodded.

She left him to interrupted sleep and thoughts she wasn't sure she could bear to hear.


	13. Memory or Hallucination

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Memory or Hallucination_**

When Reid opened his eyes to a new day, it was to dull, throbbing pain in every part of his body, with the possible exception of the little toe on his left foot. He tried to stretch out without coughing, but didn't quite make it. The nurses said it was okay for him to cough, that it would help, but he didn't see how that was true. He wondered if they did things like waking him up every three hours to do neurological tests, for their enjoyment. Yep… He bet that's just what they did, making him do things like breathe in and cough because they liked to order people around.

He sat back on his pillows and frowned. Of course, they didn't make patients do things just for kicks. That was a stupid way to look at the job. He looked over at the machine that took his blood pressure. The doctors and the nurses said that his numbers were normal. He remembered from a medical text that he once read that they were right, but somehow it wasn't comforting. He wanted to be out of this place and in his own bed.

He attempted to sit up and immediately regretted the move. Pain lanced into his side and he groaned aloud. When would they come in and give him pain meds that actually worked?

"Dr. Reid."

Karen was back again that morning and she was frowning at him. "What's wrong?"

"I feel like I got beat up by a psychopath." He said.

"I didn't know you had such a smart mouth." Karen observed as she began making notes from the monitors.

"Do I get to have anything stronger for the pain?"

"Dr. Brewster thinks narcotics could interfere with how the Mannitol works."

"Then may I have more of what you _can_ give me? I'm really hurting all over."

She put her hands on her hips and scowled down at him. "Do you always use your eyes to get your way?"

He just stared at her, so she smiled and patted his blanket-covered leg. "Come on… You need to get up for another walk and then we'll see about more pain meds for you."

"Do I have too? I'm tired. Someone kept waking me up." He complained.

"You've got head trauma. We had to make sure the pressure in your brain didn't get worse." She put her clipboard on the table next to his bed. "Come on…I'll help you sit up. We'll do some of your breathing exercises and then we'll go for a walk."

He glared at her, but she just smiled back. "Does everyone always do what you tell them to do?" He asked irritably, trying to ignore the pain in his face and ribs.

"No… My husband and children are quite good at ignoring me."

He narrowed his eyes at her nonchalant reply. "I don't think that's true at all. I bet you rule your house just fine."

"Are you doing your profiler thing on me?" She asked.

"No… It's a good guess based on experience."

She laughed and pointed at the edge of the bed. "Stop stalling and do your exercises.

She helped him sit as Arnold had and he did his breathing exercises. Okay, so it didn't hurt as much as it had the day before, but he decided not to tell her that.

"Very good…" She said when they were done, as though he were a small child in school. "Now let's get your robe and we'll take a walk down to the sun room."

"I have to go to the bathroom first," He said not looking at her.

"Oh, well I'll just wait right here for you. Let me know if you need any help."

He put his feet down very carefully on the cold tile floor. "I'm fine…" He declared.

She smirked at him again and he wanted to say something very sarcastic, but he didn't because she'd just laugh it off. She was excessively cheerful for seven in the morning in a hospital. He shuffled to the bathroom and shut the door hard while she giggled.

CMCMCM

He decided that he liked the sunroom better than his room. There was light beige carpet on the floor and light blue paint on the wall behind him. On three sides, glass walls that let in the sun and blue sky. The sunlight threw shadows behind the armchairs and a couch arranged around a glass coffee table. He saw that there were books and magazines on the table and in a bookcase, but he ignored them because he had his own books. For once, he didn't feel like reading. He just wanted to stay in the yellow light of the sun.

"Can I stay in here for awhile?"

"This might be the only time your eyes get you what you want." Karen said. "You can stay here until Dr. Brewster makes his rounds. It should be about a half an hour."

"Thank you."

She patted his arm. "I'll come back to check on you in a few minutes.

He walked over to one of the windows and looked out. They were high off the ground. The nurse said his room was on the fifth floor of the hospital. He could see the concrete sidewalk and people hurrying about their business. He wondered where everyone went in such a hurry.

The sun rose slowly in the sky as he watched cars pull in and out of the parking lot. Was everyone there to see patients or were they there because they worked in the hospital? He surveyed the lot for a few minutes before noticing a police car entering the parking lot with its lights and sirens off.

"Must not be an emergency." He said softly.

_Rain splattered on his head and his torso. Someone kicked him and the pain was like acid under his skin, burning and tearing its way into his soul. "Please stop." He was begging. Why was he begging? What was happening to him? _

_"I'll teach you a lesson you little pup."_

_Another kick to his ribs made him scream in agony. The pain was everything. There was nothing else in the world but the agony in his ribs and his chest. _

_His legs and arms went numb so that he couldn't move. He was going to die here. His eyes closed as someone lifted him from the ground. Someone screamed long and loud like an air raid siren he'd once heard in a movie. _

_"Hey…" A male voice yelled from a long way away. _

_He couldn't see anything but the blur of yellow headlights in his face as the hands dropped him. He didn't feel another rib break as he hit the muddy ground. He barely smelled the ozone from the rain and the stench of wet earth. _

_Red and blue lights pulsed around him. What? A police car… How? _

_"You're weak…" _

_He looked up to see a man he didn't recognize standing over him with a gun. He had short dark hair, a beard and eyes like the devil. _

_"I'm not weak." _

_"You're a Satan. I'll send you back to hell." _

_The rain was gone, replaced by cold air and the stench of rotting moss, leaves and more damp earth around him. "Keep digging." The man ordered him. _

_He realized that the pain was gone, except for his face and his foot. It felt like someone had crushed the bones in his foot. It hurt so bad he wanted to throw up. _

_"Faster…" The voice growled above him. _

_"I can't… The ground's too hard."_

_The man cocked his gun. "Dig!" He shouted. _

_"Please don't -" _

_He saw the yellow lights bobbing in the distance. He couldn't stop his eyes from focusing on them. The team was there. They'd found him just in time. The man, he couldn't think of his name even though he knew it lurked in his brain like a shark in dark waters, turned to look at the lights. Reid picked up the gun just as his tormentor turned back. "There's only one bullet in that gun." _

_He pulled the trigger…_

"Dr. Reid."

He jumped, nearly falling over the IV pole on his left side.

"Hey, I didn't mean to scare you. What's wrong?" She asked gently while steering him away from the window.

"I - um I think I remembered something, or it was a nightmare." He suddenly stiffened in absolute terror.

"I'm hallucinating." He said.

"Calm down Dr. Reid."

"But you don't understand -"

"You need to calm down until we get you back to your room." She led him back to down the quiet ICU hallway to his room.

"Lie down and tell me about what you remembered." She ordered in a tone that told him she did get her way at home, and on the job.

"I don't want to talk about it." He said miserably.

"If your memory's starting to come back, we need to know." She countered, helping him get back onto the bed.

She straightened his blankets around him as he fidgeted restlessly. She could see the pain in his eyes that wasn't like the pain from the damage to his body.

He began to speak in halted tones while tears ran down his cheeks continuously. He didn't try to wipe them away as he told her about the memory triggered by seeing the black and white cop car.

Pity stirred in her heart for him. She didn't know his history. She didn't know what he'd been through on the job. She wondered if it was a memory or some random hallucination.

She decided to insist that it was a memory until she could talk to Emily Prentiss. She had Dr. Reid's medical proxy and she'd have to decide what to tell him.

"Is something wrong with me? My mother…" He stopped and swallowed hard. "My mother's sick. She's a paranoid schizophrenic."

Karen nodded in sympathy. "I don't think that's it." She said gently. "I think it's a memory coming back."

"I don't know what to think. I don't know what is worse." He cried. "That I'm losing my mind, or I'm that remembering that someone tried to make me dig my own grave so he would kill me and just leave me there in the dark all alone."

"Reid…"

Karen looked away from him to see Emily Prentiss standing in the doorway. She wore a white cargo pants, a pink maternity blouse, and a very confused expression.

"I think I remembered something." Reid said before Karen could speak. "I want you to tell me if it's real. Don't lie to me this time!"


	14. Collapse

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Collapse_**

_"Reid…"_

Karen looked away from him to see Emily Prentiss standing in the doorway. She wore a white cargo pants, a pink maternity blouse and a very confused expression.

"I think I remembered something." Reid said before Karen could speak. "I want you to tell me if it's real. Don't lie to me this time."

"I need to speak with Agent Prentiss." Karen said in a no nonsense tone. All of her good humor was gone in an instant.

"But I want to talk -"

Karen turned her eyes back to Reid. He flinched at the edge in their dark depths. She suddenly reminded him of an avenging angel. "You'll be able to talk to her in a minute. I need to speak with her now."

She hurried out of the room with Emily following her until they reached the ICU waiting area. "I'm very concerned about Dr. Reid."

"What happened?" Emily's stomach turned over. _What now?_

"He had what he thinks is a hallucination. I tried to keep him calm by assuring him that it was a memory flash. He told me the details and after I heard the story, I wasn't so sure. I need you to tell me if it was a memory."

Emily sat down in one of the chairs because she couldn't guarantee that her legs would hold her up.

"What did he tell you?" She whispered.

"He told me a story about a man that wanted him to dig his own grave before he killed him."

Emily's head began to pound with the accelerated beat of her heart. Why did it have to be that memory that came out first? She laid both hands on her belly so that she could feel the baby move and maybe that would help her to get through this.

"Yes… It's a memory. We had a case in Georgia and the killer took Spencer. This particular killer had two other personalities. His personalities tortured Spencer and tried to kill him. The other personality, Tobias Henkel, tried to help Spencer by giving him Dilaudid. He forcibly addicted him."

Karen sat very still, mulling over everything the young doctor had dealt with before this event in his life. "So that's why he can't have narcotics."

"Yes… He's been clean for three years, but he's still terrified of relapsing." Emily stroked her stomach slowly as she spoke.

"He's a strong young man." Karen said patting one of Emily's hands.

"He's the strongest person I've ever had the privilege of knowing."

"I'm glad to know his memory is coming back. It's a good sign the Mannitol is working."

Emily sat hunched over as relief had deflated her a little. "I don't know what to think. I want so much for him to be my Spencer again, but I'm afraid for him. What if all the memories are too much for him? You and I make our memories day by day. We get to deal with them one by one. Spencer doesn't have that right now. He's going to have memories running into his brain in a way that's going to overwhelm him."

"I can only tell you that he will adapt." Karen said. "I've seen head trauma and memory loss before, so I know he'll handle it."

Emily looked up from her hands resting and trembling on her baby belly. "I need him." She said very simply. "Our child needs him."

"He needs you. Right now, he needs you to tell him the truth. Can you do that?"

Emily stood up feeling a little like she was trying to walk on the ocean as it heaved and surge after a storm. "I can do it." She said firmly in a voice that shook a little.

"Dr. Brewster wants him to have another MRI this afternoon. We need to see if the pressure in his brain has changed due to the drugs."

Emily nodded. "I'm going to go see him." She tried to smile at the nurse. "Wish me luck."

Karen's eyes sparkled. "I don't think you'll need it. Somewhere inside him, he loves you. It will help."

"I hope you're right."

CMCMCMCM

"I was about to get out of this bed and come looking for you," was the first thing out of Spencer's mouth when she entered the room.

"I'm sorry," She said instead of the smart remark she'd wanted to spring on him. "Your nurse really cares about you."

She took her usual seat next to his bed. He watched her every move until she looked him in the eyes.

"So what did you talk about?" He asked, but she knew he didn't really want to hear the answer.

"She told me about your memory."

One of his hands began to tremble. "It was a memory."

"Yes…"

She launched into the case of Tobias Henkel, not leaving out any of the details because it wouldn't do any good to be evasive. His hands moved restlessly on the blanket as though he were looking for something to touch, but didn't know how to ask for it. She reached out twice to still his fingers, but couldn't quite follow through with touching him, although she longed to feel the familiar contours and shape of his hands.

"So that's why the doctor won't let me have something stronger for the pain?"

He coughed twice, wincing in pain. Emily finally succeeded in making her fingers touch his hand. He didn't pull away, but he didn't look at her the way he had before the beating. Her heart began thudding very slowly in her chest.

"Yes…" She repeated. "You were forcibly addicted to Dilaudid, but you've been sober for three years."

He lightly rubbed a thumb over the back of her hand, the way he'd done when he needed her strength.

"Spencer?"

"What?"

His voice was quiet like he sat in a church instead of a hospital room.

"What can I do?"

He lifted his eyes from staring at the blanket pulled up around his waist. "I want to remember something happy, not blood, and fear and death." He said in that same hollow tone. "Will you help me?"

She nodded, because speaking would've unleashed the tears she held onto as a dying man clings to life just to see another sunset.

"Tell me about my life Emily. Do I have a family? Is my mother still alive?"

"Yes… She's still alive and living in Bennington. In fact, you were on your way home from visiting her when you were attacked."

"I was?"

"She got sick and you had to go out there, but she's okay." Emily assured him when pain and worry filled his eyes.

"I wish I could remember. I miss her so much."

"She loves you Reid." Emily said. "I envy your relationship with your mom." She blurted out.

He regarded her with some confusion. "Why? She's in an institution Emily."

"My mother and I don't get along at all. She hates that I took a job with the FBI. She wanted me to marry rich and follow her into the diplomatic corp." She declared irritably. "I rebelled against all of it and she's never forgiven me."

He watched her with something like admiration. "I'm sorry…" He said.

"It's not your fault. I really do hope that one day I can make things right with her."

"I wish my mother could get better somehow, but I know that's not possible." His eyes suddenly filled with guilt so deep she thought he might be consumed by its fire. "I haven't written my mom. I have to write something or she'll worry."

Emily disentangled her hand from his and pulled a pen from the purse she carried. "I'll see if I can find some paper for you." She promised.

"Thank you… Um, Emily, I'm sorry I was so rude to you yesterday. You've been so nice to me and I've treated you so badly."

She knew if his face wasn't so heavily bruised, it would be crimson right now. She kept back a happy smile more successfully than her tears.

"It's okay Spencer… If you weren't confused and out of sorts, I'd think something was really wrong with your brain."

She touched his forehead as lightly as she could, but he winced. "Sorry…"

"I'm alright, now that I know why I can't have stronger drugs; I can deal with the pain."

"You've never been one to shy away from dealing with excruciating pain." She laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Why don't I get some paper for you and then we'll talk." She suggested with a smirk of relief.

"I guess I don't have a choice but to wait."

"You're learning fast." She said.

"Hey kid…"

They turned to see Morgan, Hotch, Rossi and Garcia in the room. Hotch and Morgan looked the worst for wear. Hotch sported a black eye and Morgan had a large cut along the side of his handsome face. All of the men wore disheveled clothing and bulletproof vests.

"What happened to you guys?" Reid said terror springing up in his eyes.

"I'm sorry we scared you Reid." Hotch came farther into the room. "We wanted to tell you that we found the man that attacked you. He's in custody right now."

Reid smiled around his wired jaw, "Really?"

"Garcia found the guy." Morgan said proudly.

"It was easy once we had his face."

"Who is he?" Reid asked clenching his hands into his blanket.

"His name is Norman De Vries. We'll talk about it later." Hotch said.

"Yeah kid… You need to concentrate on getting better." Rossi added.

"I want to hear about it." Reid insisted.

"Reid…" Emily began to speak. She had stood while the guys talked to stretch out her back. Suddenly everything around her was spinning. She couldn't breathe. Her head hurt so bad it was as if she was the one beaten and bloodied instead of Reid. Her heart pounded slowly and ponderously like the clanging of church bells at a funeral.

"Emily…" She heard it from a long distance away.

She stumbled forward, didn't feel when Morgan leapt forward to grab her because everything went black.


	15. Interrogating Rossi

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_Interrogating Rossi_**

"Kid… You need to sit down and rest."

Reid didn't move from his position next to the window in his room. He stared out into the late morning sun as if standing sentry atop the battlements of some ancient castle.

He blinked his eyes against the sunlight. If he watched long enough, then maybe he'd see something that would dig out another memory from his faulty brain. Perhaps this memory would clear up the stabbing confusion in his gut about Emily Prentiss. He would understand why watching her collapse into Morgan's arms scared him to the point of screaming a loud. The awful, heavy and churning sensation in his gut would go away and the world would make sense again.

"Reid…"

He ignored Hotch too because he was in the hospital with his brain messed up and therefore he didn't have to do what Hotch said anymore. He had every right to stand there for as long as it took to make the memories come back and evict the black terror from his soul.

"Come on Reid, sit down and talk to us."

He didn't respond to Rossi's request. He had to pretend he was alone because the last time he'd remembered something he'd been alone. Why didn't they all get the hint and leave him alone? It was the same as working with them. They always tried to tell him what to do. He didn't need them to try to make him behave as though he were a truculent child in the midst of a temper tantrum over a lost toy.

"Dr Reid…"

He kept his eyes on the sunlight, the green grass and the blue sky outside his window and tried to block out the voice of his nurse. She just wanted to tell him what to do.

A gentle hand touched his arm. He yanked it away, or tried to yank it away, but the hand held on tight as though it were a vice. "Come sit down Dr. Reid…"

"I don't want to sit down." He said very deliberately. "I'm tired of sitting down, and lying down and behaving for everyone like a trained poodle."

"Reid!"

"It's okay Agent Morgan."

He finally turned his head at her tone. She spoke with and edge to her voice he'd never heard her use in the last two days in this place.

"I have some news for you about Emily Prentiss." She said.

He clasped her shoulder because he suddenly felt like the world was tilting as though he stood on the deck of a ship that pitched and yawed in a storm.

He let Karen lead him to the edge of his bed. He sat, grimacing at the pain that radiated all over his torso. He gritted his teeth and braced for the next blow.

"She's going to be fine." Karen said.

He'd stopped breathing while waiting for the news. His chest welcomed the release of air and the intake of new breath in his lungs, even though it came with pain. The pain was a good thing because it helped him to stay clear and wonder why he was so happy that Emily was going to be okay.

"She fainted due to dehydration and low blood sugar. Dr. Singh doesn't think it's related to gestational diabetes because Agent Prentiss admitted she hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. We're going to keep her here until tomorrow morning just as precaution and to make sure she eats."

"Did she say anything to you?" He asked the nurse.

"I didn't speak with her. I was advised of her condition with her permission from her doctor." Karen said.

He slowly nodded his head. "Um… Can you all leave?" He asked. "I want to talk to Rossi for a minute."

"Are you sure kid?"

"Please Morgan… I really need a little time alone."

His friend nodded, but his eyes remained grim and a little curious. "We'll be back later. I need to go show Garcia I didn't get blown up or shot. She never believes it till she sees it with her own eyes."

Hotch stepped forward and placed a hand on Reid's shoulder. "I'll come back and see you tonight after you've had your next MRI."

Reid nodded again. "Tell Jack I said hello."

Hotch smiled. "I will."

When Karen and the others left the room, Rossi closed the door leaving it cracked just a bit. "Okay Reid, now that you've chased everyone away… What's on your mind?"

"What's really going on?" Reid asked bluntly.

"If you think springing a question on the member of the team you least trust is going to get you anywhere, you're wrong."

"Then there's something else going on with Emily."

"She's perfectly fine, or she will be if she does what the doctor tells her."

Rossi took the chair next to Reid's bed and crossed one leg over the other. He stared directly at Reid with an unreadable expression.

"Whether you believe it or not, you and I are friends. I do care about what happens to you, but I'm not going to give you what you want."

Reid crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you think I want?"

"You want me to tell you everything that's happened in the last five years, with emphasis on Emily."

"You don't have to be a profiler to know that's what I want." Reid flung back, tired of the games.

He shifted; his back hurt a little from sitting on the edge of the bed, but he refused to crawl back inside where the pillows made it more comfortable.

"No… I don't have to be a profiler to know that. Likewise, I don't need my considerable skill and superior experience to know that you'd be more comfortable sitting up in bed as opposed to hanging off the side just to give the appearance of strength."

"That's not why I'm sitting here." Reid lied smoothly.

Rossi threw back his head and laughed. "You're the expert on body language SSA Dr. Spencer Reid. You know that seventy percent of communication is nonverbal. You think if you show me you're strong and not in pain, I'll tell you anything you want to know."

Reid dropped his eyes from Rossi's gaze and studied his bare feet, which were as pristine as his hands. He looked up right away, but the damage was done. He shouldn't have dropped his gaze because Rossi was grinning at him.

Something tugged at the edges of his memory.

"_I'd like to go down there, check it out." _

"_Alright… Take Reid with you." _

"_Road trip… Nice. I have Peter Coyote reading the entire Foundation Trilogy." _

"Reid…"

He looked up and felt a smile cross his lips. "I remembered something about you."

Rossi cocked one eyebrow. "Did you?"

"Yes…"

"What did you remember?"

Reid made sure to keep his eyes on Rossi this time. "I'll tell you if you tell me what's going on around here."

Rossi laughed again. "Nice try kid. If you want to know the truth, you need to talk to Emily."

"I can't talk to her. She won't tell me either."

His patience was beginning to wear thin. "I have all these confusing thoughts in my head. When I woke up, I thought I remembered her talking to me when I was in the coma. It didn't make sense though. It made sense when I was unconscious, but not after I woke up. It was like I understood why she said the things she said, but then I woke up and I couldn't remember anything. She was acting so strange and then everyone came in and it was all jumbled up and confusing."

Something flickered in Rossi's eyes and another memory flash flitted through Reid's mind like bad reception on a radio.

_He was lying down on a couch. He held someone's hand. It was some blond woman speaking to him and telling him to wake up. He was terrified, but Rossi was there telling him that everything was going to be okay._

"I remembered something else." He told the older man.

"Are you going to try and blackmail me again?" Rossi asked.

Reid couldn't stop another smile from turning up the corners of his mouth, "No, because you'll just tell me to talk to Emily again."

He told Rossi what he'd remembered and listened with some fascination and horror at the explanation behind them.

"So… My father left because he helped cover up a vigilante killing." Reid asked, feeling tears slip over his cheeks.

"Yes…"

"You said I've been corresponding with him on a regular basis."

Rossi sighed. "It was tough for both of you at first, but you have grown closer."

"Does he know I'm here?" Reid asked fearful of the answer.

"Yes… Hotch hasn't spoken to him since just after you woke up. He knows you have memory loss. He doesn't want to come here and cause you more stress by trying to get you to remember that you've begun to patch up your relationship."

"Oh…"

"Hotch can call him and tell him you know what's happened in the last two years. I'm sure he'd drop everything to come see you."

"I don't want to see him just yet. Also, I don't need him to distract me from what I need to know about Emily." He did want to see his dad, but he wanted answers more than he wanted to see his dad.

"I'm not proposing such a thing." Rossi argued.

"I may not remember you, but I can see in your body language that you do want to distract me." Reid countered.

"I think it's time for me to leave." Rossi stood. "Why don't you take some time to think about what you think you know? You have all the time in the world to remember in your own time."

"I don't want to wait."

Rossi smirked. "I'm afraid you're going to have to wait. It's up to Emily what she wants to tell you."

He watched Rossi leave the room. His shoulders slumped down. His brilliant plan to broadside the newest member of their team had been a spectacular failure. He looked down at his feet again; maybe if he treated all of this like a case. He could build a profile of everything he'd learned about Emily over the last two days and figure it out without his memory. When he saw Emily again, she'd be the one wondering instead of him.


	16. A Chat with JJ

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A Chat with JJ_**

Emily tried to read the book Garcia had brought in for her, but she couldn't concentrate. Guilt churned in her stomach like someone wanted to turn her insides into butter. She shouldn't have let things get this way.

She placed one hand on her baby bump and sighed as tears collected in the corners of her eyes.

"I'm sorry little one." She whispered, barely able to choke out the words. "You deserve a better mother than me."

The baby kicked gently as if stretching out in its roomy little home. She smiled at the little punch, wondering if the baby could hear her, or if she just imagined that it could.

"_Babies can hear in the womb."_

_She looked up at him from her prone position over his long lean body. Soon she wouldn't be able to lie this way without smashing the baby. _

"_They can't understand." She disagreed as one of his hands stroked her back with a lazy up and down motion that was wonderfully relaxing. _

"_Studies show that babies in the womb can hear and recognize their parent's voices. They can remember music too."_

_She reached up to cup his cheek. "I hope you're right." _

_He grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers. "I'm right about this." He said very confidently._

"_You're right about everything." She slid up and kissed his mouth. _

_His hands pulled her closer, stroking her hair and back as her lips and tongue greedily devoured his mouth. She shifted, and straddled him. It delighted her, but didn't surprise her that he was already hard for her. He slid down on the couch, stretching out beneath her as sirens screamed on the television drama they'd been watching. _

"_Emily…" He breathed when she released his mouth in favor of his neck. _

_His hands tangled in her hair, tugging and stroking while she unbuttoned his shirt. His gasp at her teeth on his nipple speared through her like lightening. _

"_Love me…" She whispered. "Now!"_

_He tugged the button free on her jeans and pushed them down over her hips. "Please…" He gasped as her hands stroked him through his boxers. _

_She smiled at the ragged plea in his voice. His eyes were nearly black in the low light from the television that played over their bodies. His hands shook as they touched her face. _

_He bucked up and she pulled down his slacks and boxers, freeing him. He hissed as she took him inside. He pulled off her shirt and pushed his hands under her bra as she rose over him and rode. _

She opened her eyes to stark reality when the baby kicked again. She was back in the hospital, not in Spencer's arms.

"I'm glad to see you awake."

Emily's head came up to see JJ in the doorway.

"When you have that baby and are back to your old self, you and I are going to go a round." JJ promised, her cobalt blue eyes flashing dangerously.

"What ever happened to saying hello when you enter a room?"

"You don't deserve the niceties Emily. Have you lost your mind?"

Emily decided to look at the blood pressure monitor next to her bed. She watched as it traced out the peaks and valleys of her heartbeat instead of looking at JJ.

"I didn't think okay. Don't you think I'm beating myself up about this?" She raised her arm, with an IV infusing it with fluids. "I got caught up in my own misery and didn't think about taking care of myself or the baby. That's why I don't deserve to be a mother."

JJ sat down in the recliner chair next to her friend's hospital bed. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Emily glanced over at her friend and the anger in her eyes. "I didn't do this on purpose JJ. All I can think of is Spencer and if he'll get his memory back. You don't know what it's like, to have the only person in the world that you love above all others, within your reach and you can't hold him. I can't kiss him. I can't tell him that everything is going to be okay. He's alone JJ. I just wanted to concentrate on him. I know it was wrong. I'm sorry. I promise I will take better care of the baby and myself. I can't lose either of them, because of a complete psycho."

"I spoke to Hotch. He said they caught the guy."

"I know… I was in the room when they came to tell Spencer. I hope they lock him away in some dark cage for the rest of his life."

JJ nodded. "Don't worry Emily, he won't hurt anyone again. Hotch will see to that."

"What am I going to do JJ?"

"I think you should tell him the truth."

"But the doctor said -"

"I don't care what the doctor said." JJ waved Dr Brewster away as though he were an annoying fly buzzing around her head. "Spence is stronger than anyone I know. He deserves to know and deal with your true relationship. I can guarantee that he'll figure it out on his own if you don't tell him and then he'll be angry with you."

Emily bowed her head so that her eyes rested on her baby belly. It seemed like ages ago when they'd gone to her last appointment and they'd seen the baby on the ultrasound.

_The picture was so grainy, so they couldn't really tell where the baby was on the screen until the doctor pointed it out to her. Then it just popped into the foreground like one of those hidden image pictures that Reid loved and she hated because she always had trouble seeing them. _

_She turned her head to look up at her sweet man. His eyes were wide, his cheeks white and pink and he looked like he wasn't breathing. He held onto her hand so tight it hurt, but she didn't complain. _

"_Hey…" She whispered to him. _

_His eyes flicked to her then back to the screen as if he couldn't take his eyes off a particularly interesting book. He looked back at her and then back at the baby. She could see that he didn't quite believe the evidence of his eyes. _

_A small, and very fast and rhythmic thumping sound brought her eyes back to the monitor. "There's the heartbeat." Her doctor said, smiling at them. _

"_One hundred and forty beats per minute is normal for a developing fetus." Reid informed the doctor. _

"_That's right," the doctor confirmed. "Your baby is perfectly healthy and developing normally for the second trimester. Emily… Have you experienced anything out of the ordinary?"_

"_No sir… I've felt great since the morning sickness ended." _

"_How's your leg?"_

"_It hurts when she works for too long." Reid interrupted. _

"_I still want you to cut down to part time in four weeks." _

_Emily glared up at Spencer who went pink in the cheeks. "Yes sir…" She said through gritted teeth._

"_You need to watch your stress levels." The doctor said. "You job isn't exactly conducive to that." _

"_I know…" She agreed. "I promise I'll do whatever I have to do to take care of myself and the baby. _

"Emily?"

She looked up at JJ who regarded her curiously. It was cruel that she could remember but Spencer was left out once again. It wasn't fair.

"That's the second time I've seen you a thousand miles away." JJ continued.

"I was just thinking. I totally messed things up JJ. I have to make it right." She rubbed her hands over her belly.

"Then I think you need to go upstairs and tell him the truth." JJ repeated.

"The doctor won't let me go up there. He said I need at least twenty four hours to rest."

JJ looked like she wanted to go find the doctor and tell him exactly what she thought of that plan. She didn't move from her chair though. She reached over and squeezed Emily's right hand. "I changed my mind. The doctor's right."

"What?" Emily eyed her suspiciously. "I thought you were all for me sneaking out of here to go see Spencer."

"Spence will have to wait. You need your rest. You're both in the same hospital. When your doctor says you can leave, then all you have to do is go three floors up and you'll see him.

"Have you seen him?" Emily asked.

"No… Dr. Brewster sent him for another MRI. He wants to see if the meds are reducing the bleeding and pressure on his brain."

"He has to be okay." Emily said, shifting in her bed. "He has to be okay for the baby."

"He will be," JJ, said squeezing her hand again. "We'll make sure he's back to his old self in time for baby Reid to make his or her appearance."

"It's going to be a girl." Emily said, feeling a smile creep onto her face.

JJ let go of her hand and put both on her hips. "How do you know?"

"I just know. Spencer said that his mother said, a mother just knows and I agree."

JJ grinned at her. "Dianna Reid is a very wise woman."

"Well she'd have to be to raise Spencer."

JJ laughed then went sober for a minute. "I wish she were here. He needs her too."

Emily nodded slowly. "I wish there could be some kind of miracle and she'd get well. I want my child to know her grandmother."

"What about your mother?"

"I don't want to talk about her."

"Emily…"

"I mean it JJ."

"Look… I need to tell you something before you talk to Reid." JJ said, changing the subject because of the storms forming in Emily's eyes.

"What?"

"You know Reid woke up thinking that it was 2006."

Emily pulled the blue blanket on her bed up around her waist and twisted her hands in its folds. "I think I know what you're going to say. You don't have to worry about it JJ. I understand."

"I just wanted you to know because things might be a little awkward with the three of us while he gets his memory back. In fact, I think it might be better if I don't see him."

She started to get to her feet when Emily grabbed her arm. "You are not going to abandon Spencer. He's one of your best friends JJ. I know how he feels about you and I know how he feels about me. When he gets his memory back, it'll be like it was. Don't abandon your "Spence" when he needs you most."

"Are you sure you're okay with me seeing him." JJ said, hope in her eyes.

"I can see that you don't want to stay away. He needs you for the support I can't give him yet."

"Are you sure?" JJ asked again.

Emily nodded. "Just remember he belongs to me."

"How can I forget when I've seen the way he looks at you?"

Emily frowned again. "I wish I could see that look in his eyes now."

JJ leaned down and hugged her. "Don't worry Emily. I don't care what we have to do. We will jog his memory. I promise you."

Emily grinned. "He won't know what hit him when you and Garcia get finished with him."

JJ waggled her eyebrows. "No… He won't know what hit him."

"Thanks for coming by."

"You're my friend too Emily. I promise it's going to get better. "

She left and Emily sank back on her pillows. "I hope your Aunt JJ is right little one." She said to the baby. "We need daddy so much."


	17. The Medallion

**_Disclaimer: seem my profile_**

**_The Medallion_**

Reid heaved a sigh as he surveyed his new room at the hospital. Five days had passed since he'd woken from his coma. Dr. Brewster had pronounced him fit to leave the ICU after several MRI scans determined that the pressure in his brain had diminished to the point that it no longer posed a serious threat. He continued to have Mannitol by IV until the pressure was completely gone. Dr. Brewster also said that the bleeding in his brain had stopped.

He sighed again as his new nurse, Gloria turned down his bed. Once again, he was confined to a prison. Granted it was a comfortable prison, but a prison nonetheless.

"There you go." Nurse Gloria said.

"Do I have to get in now? It's the middle of the day. Can I go to the sun room?"

She narrowed her grey eyes and frowned. "It's my duty to keep my patients to their schedules. I find they recover better with structure. Right now, it's time for you to have a nap before your next MRI." She said firmly, folding her lips tightly.

"Please…" He pleaded. "I don't need another MRI. Dr. Brewster said the pressure in my brain is nearly normal."

"Young man," Nurse Gloria began. "I don't presume to argue with the orders of your doctor. If it wasn't necessary, he wouldn't order it."

He took in her irritated expression, her hands on her hips and her traditional white uniform. She reminded him of a nurse that used to work at Bennington with his mother.

"I'm sure you're right," He slurred around his sewn up jaw. "The doctor does know best."

Nurse Gloria bent up her mouth like it was supposed to be a smile, but was unfamiliar on her face. "Yes he does," She agreed.

"I'm sure he wants me to get sunlight. Studies show that you should get at least hour of sunlight on your face per day so that you get the proper amount of Vitamin D."

Nurse Gloria's tiny smile disappeared. "I don't respond to psychological tricks Dr. Reid."

"I wasn't trying to trick you. I was stating the facts." He said, but he didn't meet her eyes.

"I've been a nurse for thirty-five years doctor. I know when a patient is trying to put one over on me."

He decided to take different tact with her. "It hurts to lie down. I can't have narcotics and you wouldn't want me to suffer undue pain."

Her frown deepened, he could see, but he couldn't tell what she was thinking behind her shield of her uniform and her hair pinned up under a white nurses cap. It was weird that his abilities in reading body language had gone out the window when it came to her.

"I believe you're lying…" She stated firmly.

"I'm not lying." He compounded this lie with another. "I just want to get a little exercise and sun. Dr. Brewster said it would be okay."

His ribs were better. The pain management techniques he'd learned from Dr. Brewster's friend helped a bit, but he really wanted his medallion. He looked over at the bag sitting on the table next to his bed where Nurse Gloria had set it. It had all his belongings in it. He wanted to look them over in private.

"Alright Dr. Reid… If you stay in here until your test, then you can spend some time in the day room. You have to do your breathing exercises though." She ordered.

"Yes ma'am."

Well… He'd managed not to squeak while speaking to her, which he considered a huge feat. She stood there staring at him for a minute as though she were waiting for some sign in his behavior she could use against him. He waited her out knowing that she would leave when she wanted to, not when he wanted her to leave.

He let out a sigh when she shook her head, clucked disapprovingly at him like he was a child and left the room with her clipboard.

He instantly went to his bag of belongings and dumped it out on the bed. He didn't have to worry about his gun or badge because Hotch said he hadn't been wearing them at the time of the beating. He sorted through laundered clothes, found his wallet and finally a small plastic bag with coins. He'd remembered his medallion only yesterday and he'd wanted it desperately since then.

He opened the plastic bag and let the coins fall on top of his clothes. The coins clicked together, but he ignored them for the medallion. He picked it up and rubbed it with his fingers, feeling the coolness of the metal on his hands. Then, as if someone threw a switch in his mind, images flashed in his head.

"_Hi… My name is Spencer…" He was saying as he stood in front of a group of men and women LEOs. He wasn't in a police station. This was different and standing in front of them was the hardest thing he'd ever done. _

_Another flash showed him standing in a public restroom with two men and a teenage girl. He was trying to talk one man with a shotgun out of killing the other man. "When does it stop?" He said. _

"_Tomorrow," the man said and pulled the trigger._

_He stood with his hands in his pockets. He was on a roof somewhere watching the sun go down. He just wanted a minute to think, but Morgan interrupted his thoughts with something he already knew, but wished with his whole heart wasn't true. _

"_You can't save everyone Reid."_

"_Hey Reid, catch." _

_He reached up and caught the ball Morgan tossed to him. It was the first time he'd caught something so casually tossed his way. He raised his arms up in triumph. _

"_Congratulations Dr. Reid…" _

_John handed him his one-year medallion with a smile that meant more to Reid than any treasure on earth. He handed John back the medallion he'd let him borrow for half a year. "Thanks John… You don't know how much is meant to me." _

"_Oh… I think I have some idea." _

"Spencer…"

He looked up to see Emily Prentiss standing in his doorway. "Oh, hello," he said.

"May I come in and speak with you a minute."

"As long as you don't annoy Gloria," he said motioning her forward.

She smiled at him and for the first time since he'd opened his eyes to see her looking down at him, he felt something other than annoyance. In fact, a not unpleasant little tinge fluttered in his stomach.

"Who's Gloria?" She asked taking one of the more comfortable chairs in the room.

"She's my new nurse. She's old school and doesn't take any lip." He informed her as he started to refold his clothes.

"Oh… well I guess I better behave." Emily joked.

"I would advise it."

He kept folding clothes instead of keeping up a conversation because he didn't know what to say. She hadn't been in to see him since the day she fainted. It bothered him how much he missed having her around.

"How are you?" She finally asked.

"Dr. Brewster said the pressure in my brain is nearly back to normal. He said I'd have to take the medicine for a few more days and then I'd be fine."

She fidgeted with the edge of the white, pink and purple stripped maternity shit she wore with a pair of dark blue Capri pants. "I'm glad… Are you in pain?"

"Yeah… My ribs still hurt, but Dr Brewster says they're healing just the way they should. I have to have my jaw like this for another five weeks. My spleen and kidney are healing and, as you can see, the bruising on my face is much better."

She studied him and he wished he hadn't called attention to his face. She was looking at him in a way that made more tingles take up residence in his stomach.

"How are you?" He squeaked, desperate to take the attention away from his face.

"I'm fine."

Suddenly, she was the one that looked uncomfortable. She studied the clothes and the coins on his bed instead of looking at him. "It was stupid. I wasn't sleeping and I didn't feel like eating, so I was dehydrated and my blood sugar bottomed out that day. I'm much better though." She said very fast.

"I don't understand."

She sighed. "I have something to tell you Reid."

"You called me Spencer before," he interrupted.

"What?"

He watched her eyes carefully and knew she faked the confusion in her voice. "When you came in the room just now and I remember you did when I woke up. You called me honey too. "

He sat on the bed, trying to keep his back stiff as he moved so it didn't hurt as much. "I remember." He said.

"You remember what."

Her light tone irritated him just a little because it too, was fake. "I remember your voice from when I was unconscious. You kept telling me to come back. You said you and the baby needed me."

"Reid I don't -"

"What's going on between us?" He demanded. "I've spent the last five days trying to put it together. I've gone over in my mind, everything from the moment I opened my eyes. It doesn't make sense for you to act this way or spend so much time with me unless…"

"Unless…" Emily repeated.

He couldn't take her eyes on him, but he kept them on her face anyway because this was too important. "Unless there's something going on with us that's more than just working together."

Now that it was out of his mouth, he felt heat creep up into his face because any second Emily would start laughing. It was ridiculous. He'd told himself it was ridiculous for days because if he had this kind of relationship with Emily then that meant the baby she carried was…

"Yes…" She said, getting carefully out of her chair. "I hate lying to you. I can't do it anymore. You and I are in love. We live together and we're going to have a baby."

It was odd. He never stopped to consider that he was right in his suspicions. He thought it was lingering confusion from his head injuries. He thought Emily would laugh at him for even thinking such a crazy thing. In no scenario did he imagine that it was all true. He found he couldn't speak, breathe or move.

"Spencer?"

She stood right in front of him. He hadn't noticed that she'd crossed to him. He finally managed to pull his eyes up to look at her face. "What?" He answered squeakily.

She leaned in close and he inhaled something suddenly familiar. Her lips pressed against his mouth for a brief second that seemed like an hour. He buried his face and his hands in her hair, stroking the silky texture and breathing in more the familiar scent of her; a smell that flipped over a switch in his brain like his coin, and everything came rushing back.


	18. The Remeberance of Things Past

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_The Remeberance of Things Past_**

_Her scent washed over him to uncover memories hidden by injury, memories that came back so fast, he stiffened in surprised shock._

_One of his physics magic rockets flew through the air and smacked Emily on the head… "What the?"_

"_Oh… I'm so sorry Emily." _

_Chess pieces scattered as the jet tilted hard to the right… _

"_I was winning…" _

_Bones made into wind chimes hanging from the eaves of a porch… "Chocolate… I love chocolate._

"_Peas too… It's also found in peas!"_

_Standing outside a homeless shelter in Texas… "I've never seen you act this way."_

"_Oh really… you've never seen me act this way the four months you've known me. You don't know what you're talking about Emily." _

"_You should read the letter again." _

_Learning to dance from her when Morgan dragged him out to a club after a bad case. The first time she rode the train with him and then it became a daily ritual with coffee and muffins. _

"_He's so life-like…" She pushed her finger into his cheek. _

"_You need to bait him with someone he sees as a challenge."_

"_We need to study him up close and personal. It's going to take someone he's already attracted to."_

_Taking her to his favorite rare and used bookstore because she wanted a first edition of "Slaughterhouse Five." She'd kissed him on the cheek that day, in the rain that pounded down on the green awning over their heads. _

_The first time she beat him at poker and wondering what she meant by "Sin to Win," weekend. He wanted to ask her to take him with her but he didn't dare._

"_Someone fell asleep on the jet!"_

"_I'm trying to be more conversational…."_

"_It's not working."_

_Smoke hung thick in the air from the explosion as he and Morgan stumbled away from the wreckage. She hugged him tight… _

"_Oh… It looks worse than it is… What I did wasn't your fault… She took his hand in hers and squeezed it. She seemed to understand that he couldn't speak. _

"_Hey Reid… Want to go to the movies?"_

_She kissed him for real on Halloween night after he took her to a Phantasmagoria showing. The way her lips tasted against his mouth, how her skin felt under his fingertips. How her hair tickled his neck and how her eyes drew him in and swallowed him whole. _

_Waking up in his bed with her two weeks later when he'd asked her to stay over. They'd watched movies and one thing led to another. _

_A car crash… Holding onto her mostly nude body under a blanket when he thought they'd be trapped in the snowstorm for days. _

"_I might be pregnant…Shock, terror, happiness and total emotional overload. _

"Spencer?"

He realized that he was holding her very tightly, but it didn't hurt. He stared into the dark depths of her eyes that were forever mysterious to him.

"Spencer?"

"Oh… I'm sorry," He let go of her.

He reached out and touched her belly, tears meandering down his face as new memories surfaced.

"I remember the baby," He said gruffly. "I love it so much."

"I know baby…" She embraced him again. "We love you so much."

He pulled away, and touched her face with one trembling hand. "I remember," he squeaked. "I'm so sorry for the way I treated you Emily. Will you forgive me?"

She moved to sit next to him on the hospital bed. "Why are you asking me to forgive you? You didn't do anything wrong. You're the victim here."

"I'm mad at you." He suddenly said as more emotions slammed into his gut. "How could you make yourself sick?"

She sighed… "I didn't mean to let things get so out of hand. I didn't know when or if you'd come back to us." She pressed both hands to her belly. "I couldn't see past my grief. I guess my famous compartmentalization skills are dead. I'm sorry I let it make me so ill."

He placed a hand over her hands. "I just want you and the baby to be okay. We've got so much to look forward to."

He suddenly sat up straight and groaned. He tried to get off the bed, but she pushed him down easily.

"What's wrong?"

"My tie!"

"What tie?"

"The one I was wearing the night I came home."

Shock invaded her eyes turning flat and fearful. "You remember…"

"Yes, I remember my mother was sick and I was coming home to you. I remember the breakdown and the man that I thought was trying to help me. I remember some of the beating, but not all of it."

Emily reached behind her and dug through his belongings until she found his tie. She held it up for him and he snatched it from her like it was the secret to curing cancer. "It didn't get lost."

He fingered the love knot tiepin Emily had given him for a Valentine's Day present after they were stranded together in a North Dakota snowstorm.

She reached out and touched the love knot. "I'm glad." She whispered.

He turned back to her and took her face in his hands. She leaned in and kissed him, molding her lips to his mouth like they were meant to be there. The tinges in his stomach flowed through him all the way to his toes and up to the top of his head. More of her unique scent, which said love to him, filled every part of his being until he couldn't think. Her tongue swept his lips and he moaned in frustration that he couldn't open his mouth. Emily pulled back and started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" He slurred irritably.

"You are… I remember the first time I tried to get my tongue in your mouth. You freaked out and said it was unhygienic and gross."

"I didn't use the word _gross_!"

"I love it when you squeak indignantly. It's even funnier when you _squeak_ and_ slur _indignantly."

"Very funny…"

"I'm sorry Spencer. I'm just glad you're getting your memory back."

"I still can't remember everything."

Emily ran her fingers through his hair. "I'm going to be right there with you until you remember and help you through it."

"Emily?"

His tone chilled her heart. His eyes broke her heart. "What is it baby? What's wrong?"

"I remember things I don't want to remember."

She pulled him into another fierce hug. "I said I'd be there to help you handle it. I mean it. You're not getting rid of me."

He smiled around his sewn together jaw and she laughed. "You look like a circus clown without the makeup."

He pursed his lips together. "I thought you're supposed to be nice to people in the hospital.

She lifted her eyebrows. "Obviously, you don't remember me as well as you thought you did."

He laughed through his teeth. "I guess I don't," He agreed.

She leaned in for another long tongue-less kiss. He buried his hands in her hair where they liked to go when he kissed her. Her hands wound around his neck and pulled him closer. The tingles in his gut became a swarm as his mouth left her lips and moved to her neck. She tasted like a cinnamon roll sweet and spicy at the same time. He groaned and she pulled him closer, running her hands down his back. His ribs hurt, but he ignored it in favor of the waves of pleasure beginning to swamp his good sense.

"Excuse me!"

An irritated voice broke into the kiss like an elephant stampeding through a china shop.

He jumped back from Emily as though scalded and groaned in renewed pain. His nurse Gloria stood in the doorway staring at them with black disapproval.

"What are you doing?" She snapped.

"Um… well, I had a memory flashback," he started to say trying to ignore the heat creeping up in his face.

"You did?" Nurse Gloria replied. "That's not what it looked like to me."

He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. Luckily, Emily position in front of him blocked that nurses gaze. He would die of embarrassment if she saw the bulge straining against his pajama bottoms.

"I'm sorry… I was so happy that he remembered me, I sort of attacked him." Emily said.

She stood up and went to the nurse. "My name is Emily Prentiss. I work with him and we live together."

"So I see…"

Gloria didn't offer her name to Emily so the silence stretched out for long seconds until Emily said. "Well, I better get out of here so you can check Spencer."

She turned back to see Spencer shaking his head desperately at her. She winked at him and left the room with, "I'll see you later."

Nurse Gloria turned her attention to him as he frantically tried to relax his "problem" before she noticed. She didn't move in his direction but she did point at the mess on his bed. "I thought you agreed to try and get some rest."

"Yes ma'am…"

He picked up the clothes and the bag, leaving it on his lap while his nurse took his vitals from the monitors around him. "You're heart rate is elevated." She stated.

"Um… Yes ma'am."

"Dr. Brewster will be in for your MRI very soon. I suggest you _relax._"

He nodded mutely. She finally smiled at him, but it reminded him of a cobra about to strike. "I'll be back later."

She left and he sagged back on his pillows. He didn't know what was worse, remembering Emily or dealing with the consequences of those memories in front of drill sergeant Nurse Gloria. He decided he'd rather deal with an armed un-sub instead.


	19. Unwanted Surprise

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all... Thank you all for your support of this story. Mucho thanks for my excellent beta and all of her help with the medical details. There's one more chapter after this and they'll be mostly fluff after all the angst. _**

**_Unwanted Surprise _**

"How does it feel to be back out in the sunshine, sweet cheeks?"

Reid gave Garcia the thumbs up. He didn't even mind the wheelchair as long as it meant that he got to leave the hospital. "It's great Garcia."

He turned his face up to the heat of the sun and smiled around his wired mouth. It didn't even matter that he still had three weeks left until the doctor removed the wires from his jaw. He'd wait happily as long as it was from his own home.

"You're looking _good_ pretty boy," Morgan said from the other side of his wheelchair.

"Yeah…" Garcia agreed. "You're looking fine today."

His face got hot and he looked down at the passing concrete under his wheelchair. He hated the bruising on his face and how it happened. The bruising was clearing up though, and now they'd see him blushing again.

Morgan tousled his hair. "You'll be back to charming prostitutes in no time."

"Not funny…"

Hotch stood next to his SUV parked near the curb. He was dressed in his trademark dark suit and tie, with his glowering eyes obscured by sunglasses.

"Hi Hotch…"

His boss gave him a brief smile. "Hi Reid… It's good to see you out of that hospital bed."

Nurse Gloria maneuvered the chair to curb and handed a bag with some paperwork and Reid's go bag with clothes to Hotch. "These are his prescriptions, his personal effects and other instructions."

Morgan sniggered as Hotch only stared down the nurse who didn't flinch under his gaze.

"Do you have any questions?"

"No ma'am… Thank you for taking care of Dr Reid."

She stepped back so Reid could get out of his chair and into the front passenger seat of the SUV. "It's my job. He was a better patient than most."

Morgan sniggered again. "I think you charmed your nurse." He teased.

"Shut up Morgan, Gloria's the best. Everyone thinks nurses are slave drivers or torture artists, but they really mean well."

Garcia's mouth dropped open when Nurse Gloria smiled and clasped Reid's arm. "You're a good boy." She said.

Morgan laughed aloud. "See… I knew you charmed her. You don't have to lie to her now that you're leaving."

Reid stopped in the middle of climbing into the SUV with Hotch's help as his ribs were still tender. "I'm not lying." He insisted and Gloria smiled again.

"You just keep talking." Morgan said.

Gloria turned her grey eyes on Morgan and stared him down until he held up his hands. "Sorry ma'am…"

"Now you do what I told you." She directed toward Reid. "You'll be fine."

"Yes ma'am."

She left with the empty wheelchair. Morgan began chuckling as soon as she was out of earshot. "Nice going Reid."

"Morgan, leave it alone." Hotch said, shutting the door on Reid's retort. "Get in the back and be quiet."

Garcia put her hand over Morgan's mouth when he started to speak. "I'd shut your gorgeous lips if I were you hot stuff."

Morgan looked from Garcia who was staring at him like he'd just stolen her favorite pair of glasses, to Hotch who glowered, to Reid who smirked.

"Fine… Gang up on me."

"Don't spoil Reid's homecoming." Garcia ordered smacking him on the shoulder.

"Geez… Reid was almost killed by a serial wacko and I get all the grief when I try to lighten the mood." He complained as they climbed into the back of the SUV.

"Then mind your own business," Hotch advised as he started the truck.

CMCMCMCMCM

Reid sat with his head on the headrest. He closed his eyes under his sunglasses and ignored Morgan and Garcia as they tried to engage him in conversation. He decided to pretend to sleep so they'd all leave him alone. After a few minutes, Hotch told Morgan to let him sleep.

He liked the feel of the SUV moving him further away from the hospital and closer to Emily. He'd been unable to think of anything other than Emily and the baby for the last two weeks. He longed to be close to her again, to smell her unique scent and feel the silky texture of her hair. He wanted to taste her mouth too, but that would have to wait for another three weeks. He almost sighed, but clamped down on it so Morgan didn't hear him and start teasing him again.

He shifted again, letting his body slip down in the seat a little. He tried to see Emily in his head looking beautiful and very pregnant which he secretly found extremely arousing. He shifted uncomfortably, not letting his eyes open. He couldn't think about that in a car full of his family. Morgan would never let him live it down.

_Okay… Think of something else like how much you want to see the baby. _

"Hey Reid… We're here… Wake up!"

He opened his eyes to see they'd finally made it home. A smile of pure happiness took residence on his face. Soon he'd have Emily in his arms.

CMCMCMCM

"I don't see why you have to come in with me." Reid complained as they climbed the stairs.

It hurt his ribs to climb, but as fate would have it, the elevator was broken down. This fact had Hotch scowling and Reid was sure the super was in for an earful if Hotch ever found him.

"I told you we promised Emily we'd bring you right to the door. She's still a little freaked out about you."

"I'm fine…" He protested.

Couldn't they get the hint and leave? He desperately wanted to be alone with Emily now that he remembered nearly everything about their relationship. His body and soul ached for her touch and her closeness to him.

Hotch knocked on the door which was opened almost immediately by Emily. She winked at Reid and tugged him inside. The rest of the team followed them. He was about to tell them to please leave, when JJ, Will, Henry, and Jack entered the living area from the bedroom and shouted 'Surprise," with his team and Emily.

He supposed that he should've seen this coming. He tried not to show his annoyance that he'd have to sit through a party before he could hold Emily. He forced a big smile as the guys clapped him on the back and every lady except Emily kissed him on the cheeks.

"Unca pence," Henry toddled over to him and hugged his legs.

Only the touch and small voice of his Godson could distract Reid from his irritation with the rest of his 'family.'

He wanted desperately to pick up the little boy, but Garcia stopped him when he crouched down. "Oh no you don't," she grabbed his hand and pulled him to the couch. "Sit down." She ordered as everyone laughed.

He sat because it was better than trying to argue with her. "Now…" She picked up Henry who goggled at her and sat him carefully in Reid's lap. "Uncle Spencer's got a booboo." She said. "We have to be sweet to him for awhile."

Morgan and Rossi began to laugh. Garcia and JJ glared at them, but Emily laughed with the men.

"Pence… booboo…" Henry said.

"Yes," JJ agreed. "Stay still and he'll read you a story."

Henry clapped his hands and laughed. Reid grinned at him. "Hey Henry… How are you? "

Henry pointed at himself at the sound of his name. "Yep, you're Henry."

Jack joined them on the couch, eager to hear the story, so Reid found himself surrounded by kids instead of holding Emily. Still… He couldn't say no to two boys he loved. He read to them, drank the liquid lunch JJ put in front of him, listened as everyone sort of milled around him, and talked about the last three weeks and memories from the last six years. Henry eventually fell asleep next to him so JJ picked him up and cuddled him.

She sat down next to him as he watched the guys and Garcia play poker. He'd never seen Garcia play before, but she did pretty well in his opinion. Eventually, Jack went to Hotch to watch his daddy play poker so Emily sat down on the other side of him and took his hand.

"Are you mad about the surprise?" JJ asked.

"No… I just wasn't expecting all of this." He gestured to the room.

"That's why it's a surprise."

He didn't answer… His impatience was beginning to rear its head now that Henry was asleep.

"I'm going to see if I can move everyone along." Emily whispered in his ear.

He shivered at the touch of her lips on his ear. It was torture, but he managed not to let it show. JJ wasn't fooled though. She winked at him and stood up. "Come on Will… Spence is tired."

Once Will and JJ left with Henry, the party broke up. Morgan and Garcia were the last to leave. He clapped Reid on the back as they finally walked toward the door. "Don't do anything too strenuous or you'll have Nurse Gloria on your back."

"Go away Morgan." Emily ordered.

"Come on stud muffin. I think we've worn out our welcome."

Garcia smirked at Reid around the deep red lipstick she wore with matching glasses frames.

"Goodbye…" Emily said, staying in her seat. "You can see yourselves out."

Morgan flung an arm around Garcia's shoulder. "Want to go to that new club I told you about?" He asked her.

"You bet Hot Stuff."

As soon as the front door shut, Reid turned to Emily and claimed her lips. She responded eagerly at first, her mouth traveling over his lips like silk sheets on smooth flesh. He slid his hands down and began pulling her blouse up over her head.

"Whoa… Hold on there, cowboy."

She pulled away, her chest heaving, her lips swollen and her hair mussed.

"Emily… I've been waiting all day for this moment."

"You can stop with the pouting right now. You've got broken ribs mister."

He shifted impatiently. One hand stayed tangled in her beautiful dark hair. He tugged on it a bit and her eyes narrowed. "I mean it Dr. Reid."

He pursed his lips and let his eyes fall halfway shut in a sleepy pout that had never failed to get him what he wanted in the past.

She pulled away from him and stood up. "Come on… I know something we can do that will take your mind off sex."

"There's nothing in this world that will take my mind off sex." He argued irritably.

"We'll see."

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"This isn't what I had in mind." He informed her.

"You have to admit it's a good idea."

He surveyed the table in front of him. There were two homemade thank you cards that JJ and Hotch had helped Henry and Jack make. Jack had decided on his own that he wanted to thank the doctors for helping "Uncle Spencer." Of course, Henry joined in the coloring, not really knowing what he was doing, but it didn't matter.

Emily and the girls had found a box of Thank You notes. Emily had written little notes to the nurses that had helped Spencer and he'd signed them.

"I take it that JJ and Garcia made the cookies and stuff." Reid asked.

"Yes… I told them you and I would make up the baskets and take them to the hospital tomorrow."

Reid frowned. "Why couldn't Garcia bring them today?"

"Because you need to be involved in the process; the nurses will love it, especially Karen and Gloria."

"Why does everyone think I'm something special to the nurses?" He squeaked and slurred.

Emily burst out laughing, knocking one of their cards to the floor. "That's why I love you," She patted his hand. "You're so adorably clueless."


	20. Epilogue

**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n hey all... Here's the last chapter. Once again, thanks to all of you for your kind support. I've had a great time with this story and I'm glad you enjoyed it as well. As always a huge shout out to my friend and beta REIDFANATIC... You're the best! _**

**_Epilogue_**

_"_Hurry up Spencer…" Emily called from the living room.

"I'm coming!" He shouted back.

He slipped on his dark blue Converse shoes and ran a hand through his hair. He pulled on the edges of his sleeves and straightened his watch.

"Stop stalling and come on." Emily called out to him.

He frowned and grabbed his messenger bag. He slipped it over his head and hurried out to the living room.

"You look nice." Emily said approvingly.

He shrugged uncomfortably. "I look the same as always."

"The nurses haven't seen you since you recovered. You want to look healthy for them, right?"

He nodded. "I guess so. Can we go?"

"Look who's in a hurry now." Emily smirked.

She picked up the diaper bag while Reid headed for the baby carrier and its occupant. "Hello my love…" He bent down and kissed little Vanessa on her tiny forehead. "Are you ready to go see some new friends?"

Vanessa or Nessa as Morgan had christened her, just slept on as if she didn't have a care in the world. He supposed she didn't, being a baby and all.

"Let's go." Emily made a come on motion with her hand.

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The first person Reid saw when he entered the ICU after getting the ok, was Arnold with a young, dark haired woman in a hospital johnny and robe. "That's right Melissa… You're doing great." He said to her as he helped her exercise.

Emily went to greet him, but Reid stopped her. "We'll see him later. He's busy now."

Arnold hadn't noticed them, but Reid wasn't surprised. He was the kind of person that gave his whole heart to his job. His patients got his undivided attention every day.

"Dr. Reid… Is that you?"

Karen hurried over to them. She wore pink scrubs that day. Her dark hair was up in a clip and she had the air of someone that was in a great hurry, but wanted to stop and talk for a while.

"Yeah… Um, hello Karen."

She hugged him hard. "I'm so glad to see you."

"Me too… We um, we brought someone to see you."

"Hello Emily," Karen started to say, but then she noticed little Vanessa in her stroller. "Oh my! I forgot you were due soon. I can't believe it's been four months. Is it a girl?"

"Yes," Emily said. "Her name is Vanessa."

Karen bent down and put her hand on her knees. "Hello little one, I'm so happy to meet you."

"Would you like to hold her?" Emily asked.

Karen extricated Vanessa from her stroller without waking her and cuddled her close. Reid still couldn't figure out how women like Karen and Emily did that.

"She's so beautiful." Karen said in an awed tone. "She looks just like her daddy."

Emily beamed at him and he ducked his head. He knew it was useless to argue with Emily about Vanessa, but privately he thought she looked like Emily.

Karen and Emily hovered over the baby cooing at her despite the fact that Nessa slept soundly. Karen stroked her fingers over Nessa's dark curly hair and down her little face. The baby shuffled a bit, but she didn't wake up.

"She sleeps just like Spencer. You can't wake him up for an earthquake."

"I know," Karen smirked at him. "That first night when I had to wake him for the first neurological test, it was like trying to raise the dead."

"Only the first time," Reid argued. "I couldn't go back to sleep after that."

Emily and Karen laughed.

"I'm glad you're healthy."

Reid blushed. "We wanted you to meet Vanessa and say thanks."

"And I have to say thanks for the cookies and the brownies," another voice said from behind them.

Arnold stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. "I don't know who did the baking but they rocked."

Emily smiled broadly. "I'll tell our friend Garcia you said so. We just wanted to say thanks for taking care of Spencer."

"You look much better than when you left."

"Thanks Arnold."

"Who's this lovely little lady?" Arnold asked taking Vanessa from Karen.

Reid almost grabbed for the baby, but he saw after a minute that Arnold held her like she was his very own daughter.

"This is our daughter Vanessa."

"She's beautiful."

"Thank you."

They spoke for a few minutes, but the ICU was busy so Karen and Arnold had to get back to work as they were both working a double shift that day.

"Thanks for coming by." Karen hugged Reid again and kissed Vanessa.

"Yeah… Thanks again for the visit and the cookies and cards. We especially liked the cards from the two little boys." Arnold said.

"I'll tell them." Emily said. "See you later."

They got back on the elevator and headed down to Gloria's floor. The hallway there was much less crowded and busy. They passed by several rooms with open doors. Some of them had occupants with visitors Reid noticed, and some of them were empty. A couple doors were shut and he wondered if they were occupied and if so, if the patients inside had any family or friends. He shivered a bit. Emily squeezed his free hand. He looked over at her and smiled at the support in her eyes.

"I thought it wouldn't be hard for me to be here. It was different upstairs because we didn't see the halls and the rooms."

"It'll be okay."

"I don't know how I would've got through this without you and Vanessa."

"Good, because we're not going anywhere."

They found the nurses desk. Emily approached a nurse in cranberry scrubs with dirty blond hair tucked up on her head. "Excuse me…"

The nurse looked up and beamed at Reid. "Dr. Reid."

"Hi Sheryl."

"How are you? You look great."

"I'm fine." His face got hot. All this attention was embarrassing. "I brought Emily and our little girl in to see you guys and say thanks."

"Oh… She's so cute." Sheryl reached out and took Vanessa's hand.

"Sheryl! What are you doing? It's time for your rounds."

They all turned to see Gloria striding down the corridor. Sheryl carefully schooled her face to obedience, but Reid had seen her roll her eyes before turning to face the senior nurse.

"Yes ma'am I was just saying hello to Dr. Reid."

"Dr Reid… Gloria's scowl turned to a smile that had Emily giggling.

Reid felt his face get hotter still. When could they just go home and spend time with Vanessa?

"How are you?" Gloria asked.

"I'm fine. We wanted to say thanks and show off Vanessa."

Gloria looked over Vanessa with a very critical eye. "She looks like you Dr. Reid."

Emily burst out laughing, earning her a rigid stare from Gloria. "Did I say something amusing?"

"No… It's just that he doesn't think she looks like him despite what everyone says."

"Emily!"

Gloria deposited a patient's file in the stand on the counter and picked up another. "Well… I'm glad you feel better. Thank you for sending the cookies. I took some home to my grandkids. I'm sorry I can't stop too long to talk. I'm afraid we're shorthanded all over the hospital today."

"Well… Thanks for stopping to talk." Reid said.

"You're welcome."

With that, she turned on her heel and hurried off down the hall that branched off to the left.

"I hope we didn't get you in trouble." Reid said to Sheryl.

"No… I better get to work before she comes back." She beamed down at Vanessa. "Thanks for the cards and the cookies Dr. Reid, Emily."

"You're welcome. Thank you for taking care of him." Emily said.

"It was a pleasure." Sheryl winked at him, picked up a couple files and hurried off in the opposite direction of Nurse Gloria.

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Emily put Vanessa in her crib and picked up the baby monitor. "Sleep well my little princess."

Reid waited for her when she entered the living room. "Is she okay?" He asked anxiously.

"She's fine… a full tummy and she's down for the count."

She stepped up to him and wound her arms around his neck. "Why don't we go sit down on the couch and just be quiet together?"

"You're brilliant." He said kissing the tip of her nose.

"Why?" She asked in surprise.

"I was just thinking the very same thing."

THE END


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